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FMLs submitted from Oklahoma

Today, I was diagnosed with migraines. Any loud sounds or bright lights make it worse. I'm the drummer for a heavy metal band, so I now have to choose between really bad migraines or a career. FML

#19727827
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25285) - you deserved it (4017)

On 06/03/2012 at 5:23pm - health - by Former Drummer - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML

#19682010
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17541) - you deserved it (4062)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by MALICEG - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I realized I was getting a bit chubbier than usual. I decided to go for a little jog to stay in shape. Little did I know, my neighbors that just moved in brought along with them, a fully grown German Shepherd. Not tamed. My "jog" quickly turned into a "sprint for my life". FML

#19600497
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24372) - you deserved it (2545)

On 05/09/2012 at 11:34pm - misc - by I Don't Exorcise - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

#19426684
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44419) - you deserved it (3086)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by jordyn173 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

#19411591
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22363) - you deserved it (3862)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:07am - animals - by tessamarque - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was leaning over a fence in a pasture to get a closer look at something. Nobody warned my nuts that it was an electric fence. FML

#19355667
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18817) - you deserved it (9469)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML

#19123444
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19345) - you deserved it (3063)

On 02/20/2012 at 2:39pm - animals - by good_gravy (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got my hands on some meet and greet passes for a concert. My fiancé and I got our picture taken with the band. A few moments later, in my excitement, instead of texting the picture to my friend, I accidentally deleted it. FML

Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML

#19066123
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24649) - you deserved it (5768)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:23pm - kids - by Katherine - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

#19009550
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30923) - you deserved it (7228)

On 02/06/2012 at 11:18am - intimacy - by jodibut - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

#18966700
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29019) - you deserved it (3587)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I took my car to a drive-through car wash. It wasn't until after my back seat was filled with foam and I had been squirted in the face that I realized my back seat window was rolled down. FML

#18812717
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7196) - you deserved it (31699)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML

#18660229
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26382) - you deserved it (6370)

On 12/31/2011 at 1:48am - misc - by thechimpchapter - United States (Oklahoma)



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