FMLs submitted from Oklahoma

Today, I didn't make dinner fast enough so somebody had a yelling and screaming temper tantrum. It would be understandable if the person who threw the tantrum was a child, and not my 57-year-old father. FML

by mnote / 10/23/2014 at 11:56am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss discovered that I'm prone to random fainting, due to hypoglycemia. He has now nicknamed me "fainting goat" and makes relentless bleating noises every time he sees me. FML

by thecaptainmorgan / 10/12/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Oklahoma) / Work

Today, my roommate decided that because she has an oral report due, she's going to scream at the top of her lungs until she loses her voice to get out of it. It's been two hours and she refuses to stop. FML

by why me? / 09/06/2014 at 12:25am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to go to a public restroom. I have anxiety problems and can't go unless I'm the only one in the room. Another girl came in right after me, and I was waiting for her to leave. She was also waiting. After a while, I left first and had to hold my pee for a few more hours. FML

by DumbAndYoung / 08/26/2014 at 12:17am / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend, because he's too manipulative. By the time our chat ended, instead of being single, I'm somehow now committed to going on vacation with him and his family. FML

by whatjusthappened / 07/21/2014 at 11:58am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

by icandothecancan / 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2013 at 4:57pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, an old man looked me dead in the eyes as he reached into my tip jar, grabbed the money, and then walked out of the store as if nothing ever happened. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything to stop him. FML

by brokeasajoke / 11/01/2013 at 8:58am / United States (Oklahoma) / Money

Today, I enjoyed a romantic evening at home with my husband while a babysitter took care of my 5-year-old daughter. After she came home, she told me the sitter let her use her "weird swing." I wasn't too worried, until she said it was indoors, and I realized she was describing a sex swing. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2013 at 12:33pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

Today, my financial issues hit a new low when I had to borrow back some of the money I gave the guy who did my hair. FML

by MrsCasillas / 09/26/2013 at 2:24am / United States (Oklahoma) / Money

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

by ven980 / 09/04/2013 at 3:00am / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

Today, I suddenly started having excruciating pain. My husband took me to the ER, where I waited for three hours in agony to be seen. By the time a doctor got to me, the pain had mostly gone, but it was found to be a kidney stone. I was told, "Next time, don't wait so long." Really? FML

by Orchard / 07/16/2013 at 1:25pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy