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FMLs submitted from Oklahoma

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend, because he's too manipulative. By the time our chat ended, instead of being single, I'm somehow now committed to going on vacation with him and his family. FML

#21216217
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33784) - you deserved it (927)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:58am - love - by whatjusthappened - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

#21183414
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41254) - you deserved it (5207)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML

#20967061
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39179) - you deserved it (2729)

On 11/22/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, an old man looked me dead in the eyes as he reached into my tip jar, grabbed the money, and then walked out of the store as if nothing ever happened. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything to stop him. FML

#20941188
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36327) - you deserved it (9281)

On 11/01/2013 at 8:58am - money - by brokeasajoke - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I enjoyed a romantic evening at home with my husband while a babysitter took care of my 5-year-old daughter. After she came home, she told me the sitter let her use her "weird swing." I wasn't too worried, until she said it was indoors, and I realized she was describing a sex swing. FML

#20935603
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37326) - you deserved it (3890)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my financial issues hit a new low when I had to borrow back some of the money I gave the guy who did my hair. FML

#20896461
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28057) - you deserved it (4260)

On 09/26/2013 at 2:24am - money - by MrsCasillas (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail after he punched a convenience store clerk in the face for running out of Cheetos. FML

#20867149
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37621) - you deserved it (3190)

On 09/04/2013 at 3:00am - kids - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I suddenly started having excruciating pain. My husband took me to the ER, where I waited for three hours in agony to be seen. By the time a doctor got to me, the pain had mostly gone, but it was found to be a kidney stone. I was told, "Next time, don't wait so long." Really? FML

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73463) - you deserved it (6507)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML

#20740399
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28777) - you deserved it (45430)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML

#20662901
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30745) - you deserved it (16934)

On 05/14/2013 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML

#20572312
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33833) - you deserved it (3028)

On 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML

#20504485
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34178) - you deserved it (5285)

On 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm - misc - by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry - United States (Oklahoma)



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