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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Oklahoma

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

#19009550 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (5538) - you deserved it (1486)

On 02/06/2012 at 11:18am - intimacy - by jodibut - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

#18966700 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (6125) - you deserved it (895)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:19am - intimacy - by crybaby - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I took my car to a drive-through car wash. It wasn't until after my back seat was filled with foam and I had been squirted in the face that I realized my back seat window was rolled down. FML

#18812717 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (1958) - you deserved it (8415)

On 01/15/2012 at 4:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML

#18660229 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (7608) - you deserved it (1717)

On 12/31/2011 at 1:48am - misc - by thechimpchapter - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

#18657042 (363)

I agree, your life sucks (10817) - you deserved it (1981)

On 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by KrissyBearr - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

#18620963 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (9465) - you deserved it (1319)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by maddie - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML

#18291679 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (2693) - you deserved it (15962)

On 11/19/2011 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to the bank to make a deposit. While I was waiting on my transaction, the bank tellers were making fun of me. I could tell cause I heard them through the speaker. FML

#18143971 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (21158) - you deserved it (1472)

On 11/02/2011 at 11:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

#18098530 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (20584) - you deserved it (11425)

On 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to break up a fistfight between my wife and mother. Apparently, my mom heard that I finally got the great paying job of my dreams, and told my wife I'd finally kick her "useless ass to the curb." We have to spend the holidays together. FML

#18056102 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (18190) - you deserved it (2089)

On 10/23/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months started a bitter fight with me. The cause was me repeatedly refusing to dye my hair the way his beloved ex did. FML

#17937803 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (22727) - you deserved it (2080)

On 10/08/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML

#17584476 (217)

I agree, your life sucks (9726) - you deserved it (869)

On 08/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by christine brown - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

#17502057 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (29839) - you deserved it (1850)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)