FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, not thinking and being pissed off, I threw my phone in the car, making a decent sized crack in the windshield. FML

Today, 2 years into our relationship, my boyfriend's parents still have no idea about me. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML

by alaina2001 / 05/07/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me, all because he thought I was a communist, a sinner, and a terrorist, simply because I think the gay rights are OK, because I agree with some feminists, and because I got blonde highlights in my hair. FML

by Confusedblonde / 04/29/2015 at 11:31pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2015 at 9:39am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML

by Mitchellbassists / 04/17/2015 at 11:27am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML

by spitty / 04/14/2015 at 5:50pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I showed a kid how to knock somebody out for self defense. He then knocked me unconscious with the same method I'd just showed him. FML

by Jakesssss / 04/09/2015 at 9:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

by NotALuckyGuy / 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2015 at 6:30am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I lost hundreds of dollars in gift cards. Robbed? No. Mugged? Don't think so. My roommate threw them away after he got water on them, thinking that it rendered them unusable. FML

by BrokeAndSad / 03/29/2015 at 9:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Money

Today, I had to sit in a three-seat truck between my dad and his best friend on a 4-hour trip to Detroit. It was great, besides their incessant crude jokes and stories, including chafing ball sacks, and naming their new radio station, "Chicks With Dicks Radio." FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2015 at 7:08pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

by Mr. Sniffles / 03/23/2015 at 11:43am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous