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FMLs submitted from Ohio

I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML

#21089223
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33814) - you deserved it (4937)

On 03/17/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by Bandking (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today.. . I found out tat my unemployd usband as is own web-comic.. . tat e makes money off it.. . and tat it mainly involves te main caracter's aread.. . money-grubbing wife ruining is life . Se looks strikingly like me and sares my name . FML

#21088136
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39995) - you deserved it (6508)

On 03/16/2014 at 1:53pm - love - by cumbucket cops (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my fiancé an I told my future mother-in-law that we r expecting. Her response was, ( Why r you doing this to me? ) FML

#21078559
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39799) - you deserved it (4337)

On 03/05/2014 at 5:15am - misc - by dyingangel246 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

yesterday I got my frst massage. At the looool end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body fir the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML

#21076286
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34922) - you deserved it (7981)

On 03/02/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AlwaysAwkward - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was helping my wife bring in the groceries. She was able to carry 4 bags and a jug of milk. I was struggling with 2 bags. FML

#21069230
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34411) - you deserved it (20568)

On 02/23/2014 at 9:36am - misc - by weak - United States (Ohio)

Today... te igligt of my day was wen I figurd out tat my little broter's toy dump truck could actually dump stuff out. I'm 18. mega FML

#21048030
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36412) - you deserved it (7186)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:13am - misc - by LarissaT18 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

yesterday my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand... excitedly exclaiming... "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44412) - you deserved it (11471)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean the lint out of my belly button. 5ML

#21038584
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39221) - you deserved it (21243)

On 01/24/2014 at 6:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that even after three years, my boyfriend's mother replies, "Unfortunately"hen askd if we r still together. FML

#21034680
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40448) - you deserved it (3815)

On 01/21/2014 at 1:25am - love - by monsterinlaw - United States (Ohio)

Yesterday... I realizd that if u r dreaming that u have diarrhea... u probably have diarrhea. FML

#21030771
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44281) - you deserved it (4068)

On 01/17/2014 at 11:24am - health - by crap - United States (Ohio)

Today... I sang ( happy birthday ) to my best friend. Sadly... it was while waitressing at work... where they were having a celebration I hadn't been invited to in the first place. FML

#21024621
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50664) - you deserved it (3810)

On 01/11/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by left out - United States (Ohio)

TODAY, I DOWNLOADD A MOVIE FOR MAH MOM THAT SHE REALLY LIKES, "WHEN HARRY MET SALLY"!! WHEN SHE LOADD THE FILE, WE SOON FOUND OUT IT WAS ACTUALLY SOME KIND OF OBSCURE PORNO BILLD AS "WHEN HARRY WET SALLY"!! FAT FML

#21018145
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45962) - you deserved it (9144)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriand cummad in, bitchad about "boring tv," so I handad him tha ramota. Ha puttad on a Lifatima movia. I must ba tha only woman in Amarica with this problam. FML

#21010622
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47841) - you deserved it (4841)

On 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm - love - by smokecloud_ (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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