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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I asked my parents to sign for me to enlist in the military. They asked me how much money the government gives them if I die. FML

#3971502
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53692) - you deserved it (6350)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Tallow101 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a funeral. When I got there, I hugged one of the family members and he asked, "How are you?" Out of habit, I replied, "Good, how about you?" He looked appalled and shouted "How the fuck do you think I am?! My mother just died!" loud enough for everyone to hear. FML

#3968055
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41587) - you deserved it (18640)

On 07/23/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by partycats (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally figured out who has been stalking me for the past 5 months. And we're related. FML

#3945707
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45119) - you deserved it (2701)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:27am - misc - by stalkered (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having dinner with some friends at an Applebees. I couldn't decide on what I wanted, and after about 10 minutes of me flipping through the menu, our waiter brings over the braille menu complete with gigantic pictures of all the dishes and says "Here, I thought this might help." FML

#3730573
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12283) - you deserved it (41995)

On 07/13/2009 at 10:39pm - misc - by CompleteWithPictures (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I left something in my boss' office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breast feeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

#3537464
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34174) - you deserved it (19391)

On 07/06/2009 at 10:09pm - work - by superclutz (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was coming home from a date, I saw my ex standing in my drive-way. He had dumped me 2 months ago saying he couldn't talk me. To make him jealous, I made out with my new guy before greeting him. Turns out he couldn't talk to me because he had had cancer and had been afraid to tell me. FML

#3469762
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16798) - you deserved it (71504)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Foster_Em - United States (Ohio)

Today, I exchanged numbers with this guy in the McDonald's drive-thru. When he asked why I gave him my number I told him I thought he had a nice smile. When I asked him the same question, he responded with "I just thought you had a nice rack". FML

#3453387
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13481) - you deserved it (43397)

On 07/03/2009 at 12:23pm - love - by dreamer2639 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to go get a new ID because my wallet was stolen, which had my social security card in it as well. I found out that to get your ID you have to have your social security card, and to get your social security card, you need your ID. FML

#3313265
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54314) - you deserved it (8243)

On 06/28/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by angry (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was awoken by my son squirting liquid on me from a bottle. We have a high deer population in our area, so I spray urine contained in black bottle on my plants to help deter the deer from eating them. I also water my flowers with water from a blue bottle. My son used the black one. FML

#3200106
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34696) - you deserved it (7680)

On 06/25/2009 at 6:17am - misc - by GoldenShower (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the movies. After it was over I got up and noticed a designer purse sitting on the ground in the back row. I opened it to look for anything that could give me a address so I could return it. The owner came back, assumed I was robbing her, and punched me in the nose. FML

#3196366
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39129) - you deserved it (5685)

On 06/25/2009 at 2:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML

#3171611
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45581) - you deserved it (5335)

On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by MoxyR12 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, McDonalds charged me 21 cents for a honey mustard packet. The jerk manager made me break a $50 bill. So I grabbed all their napkins, carried them into the parking lot and tossed them all into the air in protest and drove off. Down the road, I realized I left my wallet at the counter. FML

#3117856
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13249) - you deserved it (75995)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me telling me I have problems communicating and that I didn't understand her. When I asked her why she didn't talk to me about this before she said "I didn't want to talk about it." FML

#2987293
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50294) - you deserved it (3129)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)



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