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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, me and my girlfriend were buying Subway. When it came to ring up the order the lady asked us together or separate? My girlfriend looked and said separate. Half-jokingly, I asked if it was some sort of hint? She looked at me and said yes. I got broken up over a 12 inch ham sub. FML

#2104597
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58789) - you deserved it (4251)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:37am - love - by Richie (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend Kate and I were helping build a playground. Halfway through, a construction worker asks where we go to school. I told him we graduated and proudly held degrees in psych. The construction worker stopped mid-dig, glanced at us sadly and said, "yeah that's what my degree's in too." FML

#2001814
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47161) - you deserved it (7836)

On 05/17/2009 at 12:20am - work - by blairheir721 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in a public bathroom, and a little boy walks in and he has an accident. He asked if I could help him clean it up. So I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and I slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML

#1968921
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45593) - you deserved it (6149)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:22pm - kids - by Dinho (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

#1862791
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77587) - you deserved it (6083)

On 05/12/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by Karmas3itch - United States (Ohio)

Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML

#1845707
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54545) - you deserved it (27668)

On 05/11/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Wormy - United States (Ohio)

Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML

#1834550
640 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94582) - you deserved it (8629)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Hallllo (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

#1714855
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27493) - you deserved it (96840)

On 05/07/2009 at 10:45am - intimacy - by eeh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML

#1524498
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89885) - you deserved it (14059)

On 05/01/2009 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by chelle (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went for lunch at a Chinese restaurant near my home that I have never eaten at before. It was so good I went back tonight for more, and the restaurant has been boarded up. It is closed due to food contamination. Inspections happened today. I ate contaminated food for lunch today. FML

#1471492
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48074) - you deserved it (3791)

On 04/29/2009 at 8:42pm - health - by tinfoilnirvana (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that the horrible stench haunting my apartment for the past week was the decomposing corpse of my freedom loving gerbil underneath the bed that I've been sleeping on. FML

#1445711
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43690) - you deserved it (10552)

On 04/29/2009 at 12:52am - misc - by broomrape (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to be the sober housemate for the first time in a while. I drove my drunk friends to the bar and back and even bought them pizza before they passed out in the living room. I get repaid by catching my wasted housemate in my room peeing all over my floor, bed, and nightstand. FML

#1415880
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52522) - you deserved it (7726)

On 04/28/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by fuckmylife (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML

#1353969
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73228) - you deserved it (54408)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Fykkhttdsetkkhvln - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a swim meet. I was on a relay team and I was the anchor. My team was in 1st. I was ready to dive in when I saw my tampon string was hanging out of my suit. I freaked, slid off the block, and fell on top of the guy before me and gave him a concussion. We got DQed for a false start FML

#1311543
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44446) - you deserved it (15661)

On 04/25/2009 at 1:44am - misc - by suckatlifeeexo (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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