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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I received the final piece of puzzle that my boyfriend of two years has been sending me through the mail for the last week. Turns out, it wasn't a love letter like I originally thought it was. He was breaking up with me via a puzzle through the mail. FML

Today, I work for a company that sells a leading brand of condoms. They give away free condoms to employees at the office. I haven't gotten laid since I began working here. FML

#2745458
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40983) - you deserved it (6390)

On 06/09/2009 at 3:39pm - work - by IronMonkey (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I called my friend in Australia to have a nice long chat, what I did not know was that my dad had removed my international calling plan, I talked to my friend for 5 hours, and ran up a huge phone bill, which I have to take out of the money I saved up to go see her. FML

#2655501
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45820) - you deserved it (7488)

On 06/06/2009 at 8:41am - money - by tommy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, on my airplane ride home, the woman next to me wasn't feeling too well. She pulled out the air sickness bag to throw up into and missed. Her vomit splattered all over the seat in front of her and all over me. We were both covered in puke. And that was only my first of two flights. FML

#2578690
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44969) - you deserved it (1831)

On 06/03/2009 at 8:12pm - health - by stutson (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while taking a drug test for a volunteer job, I found out that I have a "shy bladder". It took me ages to pee into a cup. I was congratulated and clapped for by complete strangers when I finally left for taking a piss. FML

#2569917
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39720) - you deserved it (3927)

On 06/03/2009 at 4:06pm - work - by peeepeee. - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was my high school graduation. I brought my camera to capture these last memories, only to discover that the batteries were dead. When I got home and went to change them, I realized they were not dead, they were just put in the wrong way. FML

#2556811
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13157) - you deserved it (51106)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by keifer13 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my brother had his hot friend over. I decided to make a move because he was staring at me and smiling all night. So I asked him which holiday was his favorite, Christmas or Easter while I batted my eyes and smiled. Thats when he said, "you have lettuce in your teeth." FML

#2428890
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13860) - you deserved it (42691)

On 05/30/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I dreamed that I met this beautiful girl at a restaurant and we ended up having lunch together. Everything was going perfect until the end when I tried to get her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I can't even get a girl in my dreams. FML

#2335998
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52753) - you deserved it (5996)

On 05/27/2009 at 5:48am - love - by xpxp2002 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, me and my girlfriend were buying Subway. When it came to ring up the order the lady asked us together or separate? My girlfriend looked and said separate. Half-jokingly, I asked if it was some sort of hint? She looked at me and said yes. I got broken up over a 12 inch ham sub. FML

#2104597
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56647) - you deserved it (4076)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:37am - love - by Richie (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend Kate and I were helping build a playground. Halfway through, a construction worker asks where we go to school. I told him we graduated and proudly held degrees in psych. The construction worker stopped mid-dig, glanced at us sadly and said, "yeah that's what my degree's in too." FML

#2001814
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46978) - you deserved it (7821)

On 05/17/2009 at 12:20am - work - by blairheir721 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in a public bathroom, and a little boy walks in and he has an accident. He asked if I could help him clean it up. So I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and I slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML

#1968921
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44229) - you deserved it (5967)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:22pm - kids - by Dinho (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

#1862791
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77242) - you deserved it (6061)

On 05/12/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by Karmas3itch - United States (Ohio)

Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML

#1845707
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54385) - you deserved it (27598)

On 05/11/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Wormy - United States (Ohio)



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