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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML

#6192085
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31284) - you deserved it (4283)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:12am - health - by chairlee (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a well paying job that requires me to drive around and present a product to potential customers. After going out for a victory meal with friends, I came home to find my car broken into, and my GPS stolen. I need it for the job. FML

#6152336
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24740) - you deserved it (3875)

On 11/04/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a woman evidently posted on a chat website asking for any young men to send pictures of their junk to her cell phone. Over 60 messages were sent, mostly by underage boys, most of them including the picture. Only problem. The number posted wasn't hers... It was mine. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

#6137228
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24003) - you deserved it (2168)

On 11/03/2009 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by buckid310 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found a small bottle of chocolate milk in the fridge from McDonald's. I've been living with my grandparents while going to college and figuring they'd never drink it themselves, I took a sip. It had expired two years ago. FML

#6070693
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9487) - you deserved it (34657)

On 10/30/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by pimdala_major (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I recieved a message on MySpace from a cute guy I've been talking to for a while. It read, "I saw a girl in Old Navy at the mall last night that looked a lot like you, but she was much fatter." I was in Old Navy at the mall last night. FML

#6054945
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32393) - you deserved it (6251)

On 10/29/2009 at 1:28pm - misc - by girlthatstoofat (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned that girls don't like it when you pass out from carrying them to the bed. What they DO like, is telling all their friends. FML

#6039295
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28549) - you deserved it (8421)

On 10/28/2009 at 1:07pm - love - by thatguy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

#6001058
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15341) - you deserved it (8964)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Brian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a speeding ticket. My speedometer got busted a few weeks back, rendering it useless. My father, a former mechanic, decided it's not worth the trouble of going in and fixing it. "Just keep with traffic when you're on the highway; you'll be fine." This $150 fee says otherwise. FML

#5987696
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11309) - you deserved it (24735)

On 10/25/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by ZThirteen (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was out for a nice walk and saw a man being attacked by a large crowd. Instinctively I ran to help him. I pushed one "thug" off him and that little time allowed him to escape. I later found out the man I saved had just keyed someone's car and they had intervened. Guess whose car. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around when he accidentally elbowed me in the eye and I couldn't see. He rolled over, turned on the football game, and told me to just walk upstairs and get ice. He also added that he would like a coke while I am up there. FML

#5865108
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32100) - you deserved it (4729)

On 10/17/2009 at 12:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML

#5865096
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8468) - you deserved it (40753)

On 10/17/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Ohgreat (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met some guys from my dad's workplace. They told him what a pretty daughter he had, to which he responded, "Nah, it's just shit-loads of makeup." FML

#5857727
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33158) - you deserved it (6769)

On 10/16/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by SheWentCrayola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML

#5845825
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29125) - you deserved it (1843)

On 10/15/2009 at 7:23pm - misc - by rejectedson (man) - United States (Ohio)



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