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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47027) - you deserved it (11882)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML

#21089223
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33716) - you deserved it (4929)

On 03/17/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by Bandking (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my unemployed husband has his own web-comic, that he makes money off it, and that it mainly involves the main character's airhead, money-grubbing wife ruining his life. She looks strikingly like me and shares my name. FML

#21088136
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39872) - you deserved it (6498)

On 03/16/2014 at 1:53pm - love - by cumbucket cops (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my fiancé and I told my future mother-in-law that we are expecting. Her response was, "Why are you doing this to me?" FML

#21078559
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39201) - you deserved it (4275)

On 03/05/2014 at 5:15am - misc - by dyingangel246 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML

#21076286
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34836) - you deserved it (7965)

On 03/02/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AlwaysAwkward - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was helping my wife bring in the groceries. She was able to carry 4 bags and a jug of milk. I was struggling with 2 bags. FML

#21069230
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33396) - you deserved it (19974)

On 02/23/2014 at 9:36am - misc - by weak - United States (Ohio)

Today, the highlight of my day was when I figured out that my little brother's toy dump truck could actually dump stuff out. I'm 18. FML

#21048030
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35558) - you deserved it (7047)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:13am - misc - by LarissaT18 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42692) - you deserved it (10983)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today, as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean the lint out of my belly button. 5ML

#21038584
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39084) - you deserved it (21205)

On 01/24/2014 at 6:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that even after three years, my boyfriend's mother replies, "Unfortunately" when asked if we are still together. FML

#21034680
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40381) - you deserved it (3806)

On 01/21/2014 at 1:25am - love - by monsterinlaw - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

#21030771
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43470) - you deserved it (4001)

On 01/17/2014 at 11:24am - health - by crap - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sang "happy birthday" to my best friend. Sadly, it was while waitressing at work, where they were having a celebration I hadn't been invited to in the first place. FML

#21024621
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50548) - you deserved it (3799)

On 01/11/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by left out - United States (Ohio)

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

#21018145
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45214) - you deserved it (8986)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)



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