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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I noticed a rash of insect bites on the backs of my thighs and buttocks. Upon further investigation, it appears that the inside of the chair in my work cubicle is infested with bedbugs. I'm too paranoid to sit in any work chair now. There are 12 hours left in my shift. FML

#21433237
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25701) - you deserved it (1729)

On 06/28/2015 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said "girls don't wear deodorant". He actually believed that. FML

#21428525
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27669) - you deserved it (2820)

On 06/19/2015 at 10:47am - health - by stanky - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML

#21419928
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29783) - you deserved it (4098)

On 06/02/2015 at 9:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML

#21417382
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32377) - you deserved it (3639)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by shmoooopie (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

#21415171
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27646) - you deserved it (11466)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, in bare consciousness, I found out what it feels like to be stabbed in the hand with an earring. How? By slamming my hand on the snooze button of my alarm and missing horribly. FML

#21411522
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25712) - you deserved it (6222)

On 05/17/2015 at 3:32pm - misc - by norpedo (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML

#21411404
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25377) - you deserved it (6725)

On 05/17/2015 at 10:05am - health - by no more flips - United States (Ohio)

Today, not thinking and being pissed off, I threw my phone in the car, making a decent sized crack in the windshield. FML

Today, 2 years into our relationship, my boyfriend's parents still have no idea about me. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML

#21406350
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31876) - you deserved it (2565)

On 05/07/2015 at 6:22pm - love - by alaina2001 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me, all because he thought I was a communist, a sinner, and a terrorist, simply because I think the gay rights are OK, because I agree with some feminists, and because I got blonde highlights in my hair. FML

#21402099
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34093) - you deserved it (6120)

On 04/29/2015 at 11:31pm - love - by Confusedblonde - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML

#21397872
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31974) - you deserved it (5762)

On 04/22/2015 at 9:39am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML

#21395171
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27384) - you deserved it (5193)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:27am - health - by Mitchellbassists (man) - United States (Ohio)



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