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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34273) - you deserved it (5694)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

#21237524
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37767) - you deserved it (8285)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

#21237384
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38700) - you deserved it (5085)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:06am - animals - by hopeless romantic - United States (Ohio)

Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML

#21233273
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41086) - you deserved it (12622)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42272) - you deserved it (6147)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my co-workers don't actually like me when they changed the hangout spot after accidentally inviting me. FML

#21230545
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35474) - you deserved it (3272)

On 08/05/2014 at 11:35pm - work - by ditched - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I received was a bill for a piss test I took earlier this year. FML

#21220823
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38957) - you deserved it (3843)

On 07/26/2014 at 12:55am - misc - by birthday girl - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

#21216576
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40198) - you deserved it (5415)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

#21211826
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40468) - you deserved it (11865)

On 07/17/2014 at 11:57am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to fill out my time sheet. Someone had edited it, and now it suddenly ends August 22nd. I think I'm getting fired. FML

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, my boss called me to inform me that I'm being laid off. In my ensuing fit of rage, I deleted the recent project I've been working on for weeks. Pretty soon after, he called me back to let me know it was a prank. FML

#21207207
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45192) - you deserved it (15892)

On 07/12/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by Workhorse - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to marry me and be the father of my children. Five minutes later, he told me he wants to experience death. FML

#21188654
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43495) - you deserved it (4837)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:03am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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