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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, the only person in my entire family to show up sober and on time to my graduation was my grandma. FML

#21150544
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46863) - you deserved it (3758)

On 05/24/2014 at 7:57pm - misc - by Congrats to me - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got into THE party of the year. Too bad it was the party my daughter was throwing while her father and I were out of town. FML

#21140812
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38047) - you deserved it (5051)

On 05/15/2014 at 4:38pm - kids - by jessicab72 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took a pregnancy test because I'd missed a few periods, gained weight, and been moody. Turns out I'm just fat and moody. FML

#21139495
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46834) - you deserved it (10633)

On 05/14/2014 at 9:12am - health - by thanks4support - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

#21135087
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44314) - you deserved it (3715)

On 05/09/2014 at 7:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss told our production department that we're not allowed to be happy. FML

#21129081
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38981) - you deserved it (3282)

On 05/02/2014 at 8:03pm - work - by i guess (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to convince my 3-year-old son that there were monsters in the house just so he would lie in bed and cuddle me. FML

#21112742
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35132) - you deserved it (25590)

On 04/14/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by tinytiny1124 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

#21108665
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43750) - you deserved it (7219)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm - intimacy - by damn (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML

#21098906
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38118) - you deserved it (3377)

On 03/28/2014 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

#21098025
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39651) - you deserved it (4902)

On 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

#21096273
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41617) - you deserved it (3447)

On 03/25/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48051) - you deserved it (12225)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML

#21089223
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33763) - you deserved it (4934)

On 03/17/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by Bandking (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my unemployed husband has his own web-comic, that he makes money off it, and that it mainly involves the main character's airhead, money-grubbing wife ruining his life. She looks strikingly like me and shares my name. FML

#21088136
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39935) - you deserved it (6503)

On 03/16/2014 at 1:53pm - love - by cumbucket cops (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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