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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML

#7295020
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8921) - you deserved it (20429)

On 01/12/2010 at 2:45am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I slid on ice and hit another car while driving to work. My car was totalled, and my leg hurt, while the other car had very little damage. Not two minutes later, the salt truck drove by, spraying the road. FML

#7275776
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22409) - you deserved it (2994)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:43am - misc - by wrecked (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

#7189298
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63023) - you deserved it (3137)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after the two week winter break, I went back to school to find that the bookbag that I'd left in my car was covered in some creepy, pink gooey stuff. Under the freezing conditions, my lotion had exploded all over my notes and bag. FML

#7150726
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8766) - you deserved it (18626)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by bandcamp926 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen TV. FML

#7135131
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24677) - you deserved it (8795)

On 01/03/2010 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by december2009 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sitting at the bar of a popular local restaurant. I sat there for a few hours and drank my sorrows away with the bartender. I thought she was pretty, and decided to give her a large tip. The tip sent me over my credit card limit, and the bartender is not single. FML

#7117686
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6783) - you deserved it (30312)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by halien1982 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML

#7080938
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11698) - you deserved it (18683)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by FavreFan99 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was with my boyfriend of two months, hoping this would be our night of the first kiss. I was so excited when the ball started to drop. When it hit "0", I turned to him, hoping for a kiss, and saw him making out with another girl. He didn't even turn around. FML

#7070397
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36633) - you deserved it (6882)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:12am - love - by ItSucks (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was told to shovel four inches of snow from my driveway. I had to get the snow shovel from the rafters of my garage, and there were other tools with it. As I was yanking the shovel down, a pickax fell and smashed through the back window of my dad's Buick. FML

#7016410
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22870) - you deserved it (5224)

On 12/29/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Charlie8u347 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

#6998674
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21752) - you deserved it (4005)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by creeped (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at the local theatre watching "The Nutcracker" ballet with my mother. When the prince made his appearance in his tights my mother leans over to me and says, "Those are some well defined butt cheeks!" loud enough for everyone around us to hear. FML

#6823422
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22188) - you deserved it (2793)

On 12/19/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by Tights2Tight - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML

#6812101
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25632) - you deserved it (4305)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a job interview at the bowling alley. The manager was busy and asked if I could wait. Let's just say I've never bowled before, and I wanted to know how deep the hole was on the bowling ball. The interview ended with him spitting on my finger, trying to get it out. FML

#6739900
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5815) - you deserved it (28261)

On 12/13/2009 at 4:31pm - work - by bowler (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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