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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I got a call from my girlfriend of 13 months. She told me that she had gotten chlamydia from the guy she cheated on me with, and that I most likely have it too. I gave her a diamond ring, she gave me chlamydia. FML

#6694429
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27340) - you deserved it (2370)

On 12/10/2009 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by Godi (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was going into an office building. There was a boy and a man ahead of me, and the boy held the door open for me. Surprised, I said "What a nice young man," and he said. "It's ok, ma'am; my dad says to always hold the doors open for old ladies." I'm 43. FML

#6681968
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24219) - you deserved it (5615)

On 12/09/2009 at 4:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I chose to date him. After going on for five minutes about how unique and funny he is, I ask him the same question. His reply? "You were the first person to ask me out." He then rolled over and fell asleep. FML

#6648301
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24478) - you deserved it (3421)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:43am - misc - by Fluory (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was informed after submitting my request to have Christmas off about 2 weeks prior to Thanksgiving that I was denied. About 15 minutes later, I overheard the person that denied my request talking with another agent, who put their request in today, that they were granted the holiday off. FML

#6594646
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25188) - you deserved it (1713)

On 12/04/2009 at 1:12am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I posted a note on Facebook about a weird dream I had about my ex-boyfriend, where I made out with him, then it transitioned into a vampires vs. werewolves battle. My ex private messages me and says there's a better chance of a vampires vs. werewolves battle than us ever making out again. FML

#6584536
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9047) - you deserved it (41714)

On 12/03/2009 at 2:34pm - love - by ohiochibi (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in class. I am an older student going back for my PhD. I was kicked out of class for "sassing" my instructor for telling him he was wrong about what took place at an event I was actually present at. My instructor is a 22 year old TA. FML

#6552021
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40223) - you deserved it (3731)

On 12/01/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by sassman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

#6413436
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14937) - you deserved it (5742)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by NotsexyEnough - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

#6391764
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23374) - you deserved it (13632)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:02pm - animals - by eyesightfail (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years old and pop like an arthritic 50 year old. FML

#6381623
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25952) - you deserved it (3335)

On 11/20/2009 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took the bus to work. I was exhausted and had a big mug of coffee. Half asleep and thinking I was in my car, I reached forward to put it in the "cup holder" during the ride. When I let go, I poured hot coffee not only all over myself, but also on the large, angry-looking man next to me. FML

#6340029
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8021) - you deserved it (24413)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:32am - misc - by Spiller (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML

#6308799
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23783) - you deserved it (2165)

On 11/15/2009 at 12:12am - work - by hanmart (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML

#6238334
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26852) - you deserved it (14133)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Dummy - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML

#6217928
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37980) - you deserved it (2180)

On 11/08/2009 at 8:27pm - love - by toughlove (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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