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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

#6998674
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21310) - you deserved it (3960)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by creeped (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at the local theatre watching "The Nutcracker" ballet with my mother. When the prince made his appearance in his tights my mother leans over to me and says, "Those are some well defined butt cheeks!" loud enough for everyone around us to hear. FML

#6823422
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21826) - you deserved it (2768)

On 12/19/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by Tights2Tight - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML

#6812101
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25467) - you deserved it (4291)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a job interview at the bowling alley. The manager was busy and asked if I could wait. Let's just say I've never bowled before, and I wanted to know how deep the hole was on the bowling ball. The interview ended with him spitting on my finger, trying to get it out. FML

#6739900
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5782) - you deserved it (28122)

On 12/13/2009 at 4:31pm - work - by bowler (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11523) - you deserved it (36677)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a call from my girlfriend of 13 months. She told me that she had gotten chlamydia from the guy she cheated on me with, and that I most likely have it too. I gave her a diamond ring, she gave me chlamydia. FML

#6694429
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27266) - you deserved it (2365)

On 12/10/2009 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by Godi (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was going into an office building. There was a boy and a man ahead of me, and the boy held the door open for me. Surprised, I said "What a nice young man," and he said. "It's ok, ma'am; my dad says to always hold the doors open for old ladies." I'm 43. FML

#6681968
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24147) - you deserved it (5610)

On 12/09/2009 at 4:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I chose to date him. After going on for five minutes about how unique and funny he is, I ask him the same question. His reply? "You were the first person to ask me out." He then rolled over and fell asleep. FML

#6648301
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24422) - you deserved it (3416)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:43am - misc - by Fluory (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was informed after submitting my request to have Christmas off about 2 weeks prior to Thanksgiving that I was denied. About 15 minutes later, I overheard the person that denied my request talking with another agent, who put their request in today, that they were granted the holiday off. FML

#6594646
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25126) - you deserved it (1711)

On 12/04/2009 at 1:12am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I posted a note on Facebook about a weird dream I had about my ex-boyfriend, where I made out with him, then it transitioned into a vampires vs. werewolves battle. My ex private messages me and says there's a better chance of a vampires vs. werewolves battle than us ever making out again. FML

#6584536
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9028) - you deserved it (41622)

On 12/03/2009 at 2:34pm - love - by ohiochibi (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in class. I am an older student going back for my PhD. I was kicked out of class for "sassing" my instructor for telling him he was wrong about what took place at an event I was actually present at. My instructor is a 22 year old TA. FML

#6552021
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40165) - you deserved it (3724)

On 12/01/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by sassman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

#6413436
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14886) - you deserved it (5735)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by NotsexyEnough - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

#6391764
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23309) - you deserved it (13617)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:02pm - animals - by eyesightfail (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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