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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

#12485840
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29198) - you deserved it (33926)

On 08/12/2010 at 9:01pm - intimacy - by Blueberrypicc (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend of one year told me not to walk beside him because people might "think we're together". FML

#12365363
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39795) - you deserved it (5450)

On 08/07/2010 at 2:06am - love - by WastedTime (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

#12209813
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40594) - you deserved it (3126)

On 07/30/2010 at 4:00pm - work - by MLZ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was looking through my boyfriends phone, when I found a naked picture of myself. Too bad I haven't sent him any. Ever. FML

#12187876
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35065) - you deserved it (13611)

On 07/29/2010 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Sunshine.0.ninja - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML

#12187023
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33781) - you deserved it (3533)

On 07/29/2010 at 1:29pm - misc - by pandaboo (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that I get to spend the next two weeks at my grandparents house, which smells like cat litter, while the rest of my family takes a cruise through the Carribean. They can't afford to take a ninth person. FML

#12096842
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36274) - you deserved it (2497)

On 07/25/2010 at 1:45am - animals - by greaaaatt. - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend's father sent me a text message that simply stated "You ruined my relationship with my daughter." I wanted to ask him for his blessing to marry his daughter. FML

#12038820
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34793) - you deserved it (3075)

On 07/22/2010 at 2:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was looking for a parking spot and finally found one. Trying to figure out if the spot was legal, I asked a cop that had pulled up. He said it was fine. I came back 3 hours later to a parking ticket. FML

#11945278
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38463) - you deserved it (3608)

On 07/17/2010 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while driving, a girl on her cellphone cut me off. A second later, another person behind me on a cellphone rear ended me. Her excuse was, "I'm sorry, you weren't there a minute ago!" FML

#11698354
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36196) - you deserved it (2683)

On 07/06/2010 at 12:42pm - misc - by drivencrazy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at work as a musician, sitting on a piano bench. Suddenly I found myself at eye-level with the piano, dumped on the floor by the broken bench, with my legs splayed out. I felt like I picked the wrong day to wear a skirt to work - but the audience members all disagreed. FML

#11326623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29796) - you deserved it (4101)

On 06/20/2010 at 3:21am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband purposefully said something to upset me. When I asked why he would do that, he told me it was to test my Prozac. FML

#11189132
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28533) - you deserved it (3955)

On 06/14/2010 at 9:50am - health - by greenblue90 - United States (Ohio)



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