Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

#7189298
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61370) - you deserved it (3022)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after the two week winter break, I went back to school to find that the bookbag that I'd left in my car was covered in some creepy, pink gooey stuff. Under the freezing conditions, my lotion had exploded all over my notes and bag. FML

#7150726
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8727) - you deserved it (18526)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by bandcamp926 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen TV. FML

#7135131
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23664) - you deserved it (8537)

On 01/03/2010 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by december2009 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sitting at the bar of a popular local restaurant. I sat there for a few hours and drank my sorrows away with the bartender. I thought she was pretty, and decided to give her a large tip. The tip sent me over my credit card limit, and the bartender is not single. FML

#7117686
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6504) - you deserved it (29516)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by halien1982 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend told me it was her fantasy to orgasm at midnight on New Years. We got started at 11:53. I didn't last until midnight. FML

#7080938
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11615) - you deserved it (18569)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by FavreFan99 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was with my boyfriend of two months, hoping this would be our night of the first kiss. I was so excited when the ball started to drop. When it hit "0", I turned to him, hoping for a kiss, and saw him making out with another girl. He didn't even turn around. FML

#7070397
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36474) - you deserved it (6871)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:12am - love - by ItSucks (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was told to shovel four inches of snow from my driveway. I had to get the snow shovel from the rafters of my garage, and there were other tools with it. As I was yanking the shovel down, a pickax fell and smashed through the back window of my dad's Buick. FML

#7016410
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22769) - you deserved it (5212)

On 12/29/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Charlie8u347 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

#6998674
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21350) - you deserved it (3964)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by creeped (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at the local theatre watching "The Nutcracker" ballet with my mother. When the prince made his appearance in his tights my mother leans over to me and says, "Those are some well defined butt cheeks!" loud enough for everyone around us to hear. FML

#6823422
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22095) - you deserved it (2786)

On 12/19/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by Tights2Tight - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML

#6812101
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25517) - you deserved it (4294)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a job interview at the bowling alley. The manager was busy and asked if I could wait. Let's just say I've never bowled before, and I wanted to know how deep the hole was on the bowling ball. The interview ended with him spitting on my finger, trying to get it out. FML

#6739900
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5787) - you deserved it (28149)

On 12/13/2009 at 4:31pm - work - by bowler (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11534) - you deserved it (36721)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a call from my girlfriend of 13 months. She told me that she had gotten chlamydia from the guy she cheated on me with, and that I most likely have it too. I gave her a diamond ring, she gave me chlamydia. FML

#6694429
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27326) - you deserved it (2368)

On 12/10/2009 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by Godi (man) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: