FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML

by hatelife / 06/14/2011 at 2:37pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML

by ow / 06/13/2011 at 1:39am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML

by stepsister / 06/10/2011 at 1:17am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML

by kyle / 06/05/2011 at 3:00am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I was on my first blind date. We went to a fancy restaurant in the middle in the city. After using the bathroom, I came back to an empty table. He stole my purse and left. FML

by dancer_2014 / 05/28/2011 at 8:44am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

by diddlebuag / 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML

by Greig / 05/22/2011 at 8:18am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, my school is having a mandatory class on etiquette. We've just now progressed onto forks after a long, tedious discussion on spoons. FML

by forkmylife / 05/19/2011 at 6:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, on my Facebook, the stripper my ex husband cheated on me with showed up in the "People You May Know" box. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2011 at 9:48am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while tanning on a family cruise, I woke up to a crowd of people staring at me in disgust. Apparently, I'd fallen asleep, developed a boner, and started french-kissing the air. I had to sit through both the surveillance tapes and a grand bollocking from security in the aftermath. FML

by f*cks_sake / 05/13/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my mom and I had an argument about my laziness. We did this as I was eating uncooked rice because I didn't want to have to walk to the kitchen and put it into the microwave. FML

by wtfseriously / 05/09/2011 at 1:22pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I work at McDonald's. The entire crew, myself included, got visibly excited that we had new trash cans and dust pans. FML

by Tyler / 05/06/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, my boyfriend was introducing me to some business partners. As he was going along telling me their names, when he introduced me, he called me by my best friend's name. FML

by ohmylantis / 05/04/2011 at 10:50am / United States (Ohio) / Love