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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I was massively hungover and driving home. I had a strong suspicion that I was gonna ralph so I was smart and pulled over. I emptied the contents of my stomach into a shopping bag and was proud I didn't make a mess all over the car. Seconds later, the bottom of the bag gave out. FML

#8876502
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9087) - you deserved it (23374)

On 03/06/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by Octobre (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my six year old daughter cut out the stomach area of four of my favorite shirts. When I asked her why she had done so she replied, "So that they fit your tummy better, Mommy." FML

#8864405
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26796) - you deserved it (5516)

On 03/06/2010 at 8:05am - kids - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML

#8864164
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7302) - you deserved it (37963)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by imabadperson (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got excited because I found a chat line for teens who are dealing with depression. I signed up and was about to enter the chat room and then a message popped up that said ''Sorry this is only available for teens in the United Kingdom.'' FML

#8732304
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23184) - you deserved it (3881)

On 02/28/2010 at 10:16pm - health - by Hannah - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was loading a very large box into my hatchback. I was really struggling, and a few people walked by and laughed. Then a car pulled up and waited for the spot. There isn't a spring to hold my trunk open, so it slammed onto my head. Twice. The car honked for me to hurry up. FML

#8729495
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21073) - you deserved it (1936)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my roommate and I got charged $100 for having a cat in our apartment. I was only babysitting the cat so my neighbors wouldn't get caught and fined. We got caught because my roommate reported the people downstairs for having a dog, so they reported that someone else in the building had a cat. FML

#8713429
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7895) - you deserved it (24841)

On 02/28/2010 at 8:16am - money - by komp6390 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was running late for work and realized I forgot to pay a bill. I turned on my computer to pay the bill and brushed my teeth while it set up. I had a mouth full of mouthwash and decided to pay the bill before I spit. Then, I sneezed mouthwash all over my laptop keyboard and screen. FML

#8706318
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7430) - you deserved it (24411)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by atleastmybreathisfresh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my hamster went missing. I walked down the stairs into my basement, to find my hamster's head on the stairs, and its body in my cat's mouth. FML

Today, my boss told me he suspected his wife was cheating on him. I told him to pull up her Facebook page to look for suspicious activity. I looked at her profile picture and said, "Damn, that girl next to her fine! You know her?" It was his sixteen year old daughter. FML

#8680556
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7009) - you deserved it (33816)

On 02/27/2010 at 1:17am - misc - by Shoe (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw boobs, in person, for the first time. Too bad they were my mom's and I'm 27. FML

#8664737
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31938) - you deserved it (7606)

On 02/26/2010 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by sad (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML

#8664112
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19426) - you deserved it (3521)

On 02/26/2010 at 1:37pm - love - by canadiansun - United States (Ohio)

Today, I missed points on a math quiz because I thought 2 times 5 was 20. I'm a math major. FML

#8663559
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7797) - you deserved it (32761)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:57pm - misc - by mathhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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