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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML

Today, my grandma sent me a Valentine's Day card. For years she's been hinting at me to lose weight. The card: a picture of cookies on the front and a gym membership inside. FML

#8199501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18803) - you deserved it (5523)

On 02/13/2010 at 9:22am - misc - by bcca - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML

#8013875
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10932) - you deserved it (48073)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by christian9294 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I forgot it was her birthday. We had only been dating for 2 weeks. I didn't even know when it was. FML

#7974279
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28986) - you deserved it (7438)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:56pm - love - by jake (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my mom pretended to be me and had AIM conversations with my boyfriend. FML

#7957934
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31268) - you deserved it (2537)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:15am - love - by nekoneko (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dog accidentally crapped on her leash. When I flicked the leash to get the poo off, it went flying. Have you ever had warm poo hit you in the face on a cold day when there's 6 inches of snow on the ground? I have. FML

#7913686
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21697) - you deserved it (8369)

On 02/05/2010 at 7:50pm - animals - by doggie_doo_face (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML

#7907702
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12021) - you deserved it (35882)

On 02/05/2010 at 3:17pm - love - by topfisherman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML

#7718053
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26768) - you deserved it (3818)

On 01/30/2010 at 7:32pm - misc - by hahahawoww (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my 8 year old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML

#7694418
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26620) - you deserved it (3042)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML

#7594942
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33475) - you deserved it (2014)

On 01/26/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by newniece (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was riding my dorm elevator from the 5th floor to the 1st by myself. Since the elevator is really slow, I pulled my pants and underwear down just for kicks. Just then, the door opened to let a girl on at the 4th floor. FML

#7450090
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5006) - you deserved it (74952)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by embareassed (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my two boys decided to draw in permanent marker on the leather seats of the car I have had up for sale for 3 weeks with no interest. I call my husband to tell him we're going to have to keep it. He just made an appointment with a guy who has cash and is ready to buy it tomorrow. FML

#7433438
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25057) - you deserved it (4415)

On 01/19/2010 at 4:59am - misc - by momof2boys - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend decided to pants me in the middle of the mall. I wasn't wearing underwear. FML

#7400225
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16843) - you deserved it (28317)

On 01/17/2010 at 2:59pm - misc - by Jac (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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