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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20544) - you deserved it (88117)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I painted an area I had carefully sanded, cleaned, and taped off. I pulled a fan out of the closet to help dry it faster. I turned the fan on, and a million dust particles flew off onto the wet paint. FML

#15124646
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13016) - you deserved it (30234)

On 02/26/2011 at 8:57am - misc - by Carmen - United States (Ohio)

Today, in an attempt to get some guidance from my college advisor, I emailed her, saying I was contemplating going to another school because I felt so helpless about my GPA, and was sure I wouldn't get my major. I asked for advice on raising it. She gave me instructions on how to drop out. FML

#15077863
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26611) - you deserved it (7061)

On 02/22/2011 at 12:19pm - misc - by academicloser (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

#15042917
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53340) - you deserved it (43526)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML

#15035621
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35892) - you deserved it (5674)

On 02/19/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

#14985467
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11590) - you deserved it (62586)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by howler (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML

#14948689
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39236) - you deserved it (3364)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:29am - intimacy - by KaraAnn17 - United States (Ohio)

Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML

#14913513
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8793) - you deserved it (50606)

On 02/09/2011 at 8:12pm - misc - by inosehowthatgotthere (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I spent nearly an hour thawing out my car and driving to work in this stupid freezing rain, only to find out that I'm now unemployed due to budget cuts. FML

#14820715
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29216) - you deserved it (2192)

On 02/03/2011 at 12:05am - work - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, during a snowstorm, I opened my car door to get out. The wind snapped it wide open, then immediately changed course and swung it back at me just as I stepped out, spilling an entire hot cup of coffee all over me. FML

#14809885
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27610) - you deserved it (4201)

On 02/02/2011 at 9:44am - misc - by Biggie (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a job interview at 9:00am. I left at around 8:30am, and as soon as I got in the car to drive to the interview, I checked my phone again, and it said 10:33. My boyfriend had decided to change the time on my clock as a "joke." FML

#14771838
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39681) - you deserved it (4305)

On 01/30/2011 at 8:43am - misc - by catsofly7 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

#14767473
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26350) - you deserved it (8299)

On 01/30/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, I helped out an employee who was having trouble. I even bought her a bottle of water. After the production manager decided to fire her on the spot, she went out in the parking lot and broke into several cars, including mine. FML

#14639057
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28413) - you deserved it (2542)

On 01/19/2011 at 1:54pm - work - by peachesthepigeon (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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