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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8466) - you deserved it (38235)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said, "I suggest you buy some drapes for your bedroom dear..." When she started to walk away, she added, "...and a gym membership." FML

#12971497
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25347) - you deserved it (9512)

On 09/09/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by niccy (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was forced to spend an extra $318 for another plane ticket to Dallas. The ticket wasn't for my daughter, my mom, or my sister, but for the quarter of my butt that apparently needs its own seat. FML

#12841369
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19760) - you deserved it (63888)

On 08/31/2010 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39533) - you deserved it (14856)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in the car going to a concert with my family. I was listening to my iPod, when the wheel broke and I couldn't change the song. So for the rest of the trip, I was stuck either listening to my parents arguing, or Don't Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin on repeat. FML

#12782380
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23801) - you deserved it (5523)

On 08/28/2010 at 2:07am - misc - by dontworrybehappy (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML

#12674562
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29540) - you deserved it (5236)

On 08/22/2010 at 12:26am - intimacy - by ananomus - United States (Ohio)

Today, my new $100 electronic cigarette came in the mail. I was so excited to try it out, I used it on the drive to work. The people who sold it to me weren't kidding when they said it looked and felt real. I threw it out the window when I was done. FML

#12604182
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10057) - you deserved it (56967)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at the pool with two boys I baby sit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML

#12498801
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35559) - you deserved it (8833)

On 08/13/2010 at 12:14pm - kids - by qtpieo1 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

#12485840
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29055) - you deserved it (33777)

On 08/12/2010 at 9:01pm - intimacy - by Blueberrypicc (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend of one year told me not to walk beside him because people might "think we're together". FML

#12365363
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36989) - you deserved it (5194)

On 08/07/2010 at 2:06am - love - by WastedTime (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

#12209813
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40342) - you deserved it (3106)

On 07/30/2010 at 4:00pm - work - by MLZ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was looking through my boyfriends phone, when I found a naked picture of myself. Too bad I haven't sent him any. Ever. FML

#12187876
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34814) - you deserved it (13571)

On 07/29/2010 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Sunshine.0.ninja - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML

#12187023
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31323) - you deserved it (3326)

On 07/29/2010 at 1:29pm - misc - by pandaboo (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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