FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet the family. After several long moments of silence, one of my sisters burst out laughing, and asked, "Okay, who is this guy really?" FML

by octoberrain / 10/10/2011 at 7:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my roommate and I had to pay our first installment of rent. He's nowhere to be found. FML

by pvtcab / 10/05/2011 at 2:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Money

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I'm being admitted to the hospital for severe exhaustion. Why am I exhausted? For spending 12 hours at the hospital while my sister gave birth. The same hospital I'm being admitted to. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2011 at 1:47am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our sliding glass door. Just a few hours beforehand, my mom put up a strip of colored tape to stop this from happening. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 4:21pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my professor snapped and told me that I know nothing, that everything I've ever learned is wrong, and that all of my former teachers should be shot. FML

by failure / 09/22/2011 at 2:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my stalker ex-girlfriend named her new born son after me. FML

by cjy152 / 09/21/2011 at 10:44am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my husband went downstairs to play Call of Duty. When he came back after only 20 minutes I said, "Awww, did you miss me?" He said, "No, the controller died." FML

Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML

by why?! / 09/09/2011 at 9:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

by BigMoney / 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Money

Today, I was at my grandparents' house, when the power went out. Even though we were supplied with candles and flashlights, we still had to stumble around in the darkness. They'd left both the candles and flashlights in the pitch black, unnavigable basement. FML

by itsgonnabealongnight... / 09/03/2011 at 4:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because I didn't know what her favorite ice cream was. She says it proves I don't care enough about her. I don't think I've ever seen her eat ice cream. FML

by wtf3456 / 08/31/2011 at 5:16am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML

by slavelaborsux / 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids