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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

#14622916
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31740) - you deserved it (3383)

On 01/18/2011 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML

#14583340
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16303) - you deserved it (77298)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by Gabriel A - United States (Ohio)

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

#14579173
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25405) - you deserved it (4835)

On 01/14/2011 at 3:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, some construction workers kept going in and out the door next to my cubicle. They decided it would be easier to just prop the door open for the next hour. It's 20 degrees outside, and I'm wearing a dress. FML

#14543942
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20106) - you deserved it (6123)

On 01/11/2011 at 9:45am - work - by bitty (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend tried to serenade me with The Sex is Good by Saving Abel. According to him, "I have to fake it, I'd leave if I could. I'm not in love, but the sex is good." FML

#14521815
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24378) - you deserved it (3620)

On 01/09/2011 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's been a full week since my last orthodontist appointment and I still can't eat anything besides Slimfast and pudding. FML

#14520919
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21049) - you deserved it (2830)

On 01/09/2011 at 1:25pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my dad and new stepmom's house for the week. Upon arrival, I was handed mouthwash, deodorant, and lice shampoo. The guest bed I was told I'd be sleeping in was fitted with a plastic mattress cover. I don't have lice and I don't wet the bed. FML

#14510501
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26968) - you deserved it (2548)

On 01/08/2011 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out I'm getting laid off. However, they're keeping my coworker who rarely shows up and sleeps all the time when he's there. FML

#14505511
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26217) - you deserved it (2166)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:38am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was feeling sick but went into my waitressing job because I'd already missed 3 days this week. I was dizzy and managed to spill a tray of drinks all over the customers. Then, when their food was done, I tripped and spilled hot chili all over the man's lap. FML

#14482028
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21125) - you deserved it (10237)

On 01/06/2011 at 1:34am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML

#14424429
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8697) - you deserved it (30334)

On 01/01/2011 at 12:11pm - misc - by lonely - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out I have Raynaud's, a condition where your veins basically shut off all blood flow to your hands and feet if you get cold. Turns out "cold" for me is anything below 70 degrees. Oh, and I live in Ohio. FML

Today, a customer tried to pay for a $1.55 cup of coffee with a gift card, but he came up a dollar short. He let another customer through while he fumbled in his pocket for money. I later noticed a dollar had disappeared from my tip jar. FML

#14095339
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24904) - you deserved it (3466)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:36pm - work - by barista (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at a concert, my friend grew tired of holding her bag. She asked a man to hold it, saying that he wouldn't steal it "since it was hers". I quietly told her she was too naïve and irresponsible. After the concert, I got home and noticed my wallet was stolen instead, right out of my pocket. FML

#14078966
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22804) - you deserved it (4706)

On 12/04/2010 at 12:37am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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