FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML

by 464424 / 05/05/2012 at 2:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML

by leprechaun23 / 04/23/2012 at 12:21am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that both my husband and son refer to me as "the bitch." FML

by stoggie96 / 04/22/2012 at 11:34am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up and decided to make my mom a special Easter breakfast in bed. I pre-heated the oven to bake the sausage just the way she likes. Guess where my easter basket was. FML

by jess / 04/08/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

by GetHardOrGoHome / 03/31/2012 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, was the first day of my new job. My boss admitted that they hadn't cleaned the employee bathroom for over two months. My first task: clean the employee bathroom. FML

by LesToiliettes / 03/25/2012 at 3:12am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I was laying down in bed when my puppy decided to bite my ear. As I started laughing and pulling him off I noticed one of my $200 earrings got pulled off with it. And now I wait. FML

by lizzie1833 / 03/17/2012 at 10:16am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

by spermbankonlegs / 03/15/2012 at 10:21pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML

by cmoney6452 / 03/01/2012 at 11:17am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom". That's how he put it, anyway. FML

by salt. / 02/28/2012 at 5:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my boyfriend poked me on Facebook. I got excited because this is as close as he's come to touching me in weeks. FML

by Skullie / 02/19/2012 at 12:40am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML

by AnastasiyaNicholas / 02/18/2012 at 9:20am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2012 at 3:01am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous