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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I could call him "love muffin". He asked if he could call me "muffin top". FML

#13716117
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10199) - you deserved it (31637)

On 11/04/2010 at 4:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally quit the job that I've been complaining about. Before I could tell my husband, he informed me that he had been laid off, and was thankful we still had my income. FML

#13514929
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23144) - you deserved it (15244)

On 10/19/2010 at 7:06pm - money - by Sarah - United States (Ohio)

Today, the man who has been my stepfather for six years, has forgotten how old I am. However, he remembers exactly how much my real father owes him for child support. FML

#13512572
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25195) - you deserved it (2420)

On 10/19/2010 at 3:15pm - money - by moe (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

#13450247
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21782) - you deserved it (8298)

On 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that the blind man I've been helping for months at the grocery store by carrying his shopping around and stuff was actually faking his blindness. FML

#13442719
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25636) - you deserved it (3289)

On 10/14/2010 at 4:19am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2am. This old man pulls in and asks me if I would like to join him for some dinner. I said no, and told him I was working. He replies, "How much do you charge?" Apparently, even in sweats I look like a hooker. FML

#13326946
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28336) - you deserved it (5972)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML

#13275274
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10438) - you deserved it (31803)

On 10/01/2010 at 10:32am - misc - by northernlass - United States (Ohio)

Today, I started a new job. I lost my work keys and had everyone running all over the building looking for them. We found them, hanging in the last lock I had used. They now all think I'm a nut. FML

#13256903
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6529) - you deserved it (21522)

On 09/29/2010 at 10:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the woman who sits behind me in class showed up. She shrieks in laughter until she has coughing fits every time anything even remotely sexual is mentioned, including evidence in sexual assault cases. Lectures are 3 hours long, twice a week, and I need this class to graduate. FML

#13241272
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26666) - you deserved it (2155)

On 09/28/2010 at 9:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML

#13212563
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31764) - you deserved it (5862)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by lyssuhhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, there were a few loud and annoying kids running around my store. My coworker and I started talking and I jokingly stated "Yeah, kids ruin everything." But before I could get out "God knows I'm not ready to be a dad," my phone rang. It was my one night stand. I'm going to be a daddy. FML

#13180863
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12715) - you deserved it (68509)

On 09/24/2010 at 7:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML

#13122832
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23621) - you deserved it (2276)

On 09/20/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by northernlass (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I accidentally bumped into the fire alarm which set off a high pitch buzzing noise that could be heard throughout the entire dorm. It went on for at least two hours and none of the technicians could figure out how to turn it off. All the girls on my floor want to kill me. FML

#13108461
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19686) - you deserved it (6293)

On 09/19/2010 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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