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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, during a snowstorm, I opened my car door to get out. The wind snapped it wide open, then immediately changed course and swung it back at me just as I stepped out, spilling an entire hot cup of coffee all over me. FML

#14809885
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24120) - you deserved it (3881)

On 02/02/2011 at 9:44am - misc - by Biggie (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a job interview at 9:00am. I left at around 8:30am, and as soon as I got in the car to drive to the interview, I checked my phone again, and it said 10:33. My boyfriend had decided to change the time on my clock as a "joke." FML

#14771838
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36236) - you deserved it (4010)

On 01/30/2011 at 8:43am - misc - by catsofly7 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

#14767473
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23169) - you deserved it (7758)

On 01/30/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, I helped out an employee who was having trouble. I even bought her a bottle of water. After the production manager decided to fire her on the spot, she went out in the parking lot and broke into several cars, including mine. FML

#14639057
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24640) - you deserved it (2236)

On 01/19/2011 at 1:54pm - work - by peachesthepigeon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

#14622916
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31531) - you deserved it (3369)

On 01/18/2011 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML

#14583340
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15673) - you deserved it (75381)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by Gabriel A - United States (Ohio)

Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML

#14579173
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24187) - you deserved it (4715)

On 01/14/2011 at 3:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, some construction workers kept going in and out the door next to my cubicle. They decided it would be easier to just prop the door open for the next hour. It's 20 degrees outside, and I'm wearing a dress. FML

#14543942
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19967) - you deserved it (6098)

On 01/11/2011 at 9:45am - work - by bitty (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend tried to serenade me with The Sex is Good by Saving Abel. According to him, "I have to fake it, I'd leave if I could. I'm not in love, but the sex is good." FML

#14521815
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23248) - you deserved it (3505)

On 01/09/2011 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's been a full week since my last orthodontist appointment and I still can't eat anything besides Slimfast and pudding. FML

#14520919
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20320) - you deserved it (2759)

On 01/09/2011 at 1:25pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my dad and new stepmom's house for the week. Upon arrival, I was handed mouthwash, deodorant, and lice shampoo. The guest bed I was told I'd be sleeping in was fitted with a plastic mattress cover. I don't have lice and I don't wet the bed. FML

#14510501
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25498) - you deserved it (2434)

On 01/08/2011 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out I'm getting laid off. However, they're keeping my coworker who rarely shows up and sleeps all the time when he's there. FML

#14505511
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24737) - you deserved it (2067)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:38am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was feeling sick but went into my waitressing job because I'd already missed 3 days this week. I was dizzy and managed to spill a tray of drinks all over the customers. Then, when their food was done, I tripped and spilled hot chili all over the man's lap. FML

#14482028
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20947) - you deserved it (10184)

On 01/06/2011 at 1:34am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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