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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I went to fill out my time sheet. Someone had edited it, and now it suddenly ends August 22nd. I think I'm getting fired. FML

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, my boss called me to inform me that I'm being laid off. In my ensuing fit of rage, I deleted the recent project I've been working on for weeks. Pretty soon after, he called me back to let me know it was a prank. FML

#21207207
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44484) - you deserved it (15631)

On 07/12/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by Workhorse - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to marry me and be the father of my children. Five minutes later, he told me he wants to experience death. FML

#21188654
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43408) - you deserved it (4829)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:03am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

#21179613
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24917) - you deserved it (50469)

On 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm - misc - by shtidsfpa (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML

#21175721
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35120) - you deserved it (3575)

On 06/15/2014 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, the only person in my entire family to show up sober and on time to my graduation was my grandma. FML

#21150544
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46846) - you deserved it (3758)

On 05/24/2014 at 7:57pm - misc - by Congrats to me - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got into THE party of the year. Too bad it was the party my daughter was throwing while her father and I were out of town. FML

#21140812
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38007) - you deserved it (5051)

On 05/15/2014 at 4:38pm - kids - by jessicab72 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took a pregnancy test because I'd missed a few periods, gained weight, and been moody. Turns out I'm just fat and moody. FML

#21139495
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46542) - you deserved it (10543)

On 05/14/2014 at 9:12am - health - by thanks4support - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

#21135087
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44287) - you deserved it (3710)

On 05/09/2014 at 7:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss told our production department that we're not allowed to be happy. FML

#21129081
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38962) - you deserved it (3282)

On 05/02/2014 at 8:03pm - work - by i guess (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to convince my 3-year-old son that there were monsters in the house just so he would lie in bed and cuddle me. FML

#21112742
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34508) - you deserved it (25137)

On 04/14/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by tinytiny1124 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

#21108665
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43686) - you deserved it (7212)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm - intimacy - by damn (man) - United States (Ohio)



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