FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I got threatened to get dragged out of the window at work because I wouldn't sell someone hot wings. I work at Taco Bell. FML

by Taco Hell / 10/19/2012 at 2:43am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I kissed a boy for the first time in over a year. It was at drama club practice, and he quickly ended up asking the director if we could remove that scene from the play. FML

by pinkfreak94 / 10/13/2012 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

by justabitembarrassed / 10/07/2012 at 10:20am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, at work, my boss asked me why I wasn't adhering to proper dress code. I pointed out that skinny jeans are in the dress code, to which he replied, "Only if you're skinny." FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 12:40pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, my mom decided to subtly bring up her desire for grandchildren. "You really need a girlfriend. I'm surprised you don't have a crippling case of Carpal Tunnel by now." FML

by alittlepersonal / 10/05/2012 at 1:59am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML

by praise the prenup / 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML

by fuckalltwitardsintheface / 09/20/2012 at 5:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

by unaware / 09/19/2012 at 12:14am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom turned off all internet access in our house because she thought I spent too much time on the computer. She later asked me why she couldn't get on Facebook. FML

by Oh_So_Klassical / 09/17/2012 at 9:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I listened to my roommate and her friend struggle with their math homework for an hour. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact that I'm a math major and repeatedly offered my help. They'd rather fail math than be around me. FML

by foreveralone.jpg / 08/29/2012 at 4:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "happy birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

by guy / 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my live-in-boyfriend lost his job. Jokingly, I told him that we weren't going to have sex until he found a new job. He then turned to me with the most excited look I have ever seen on his face and said "I am going to stay unemployed forever!" He was serious. FML

by Nikki / 07/27/2012 at 9:45am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy