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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

#16375821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37062) - you deserved it (5653)

On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML

#16294249
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26870) - you deserved it (3256)

On 05/22/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Greig - United States (Ohio)

Today, my school is having a mandatory class on etiquette. We've just now progressed onto forks after a long, tedious discussion on spoons. FML

#16255885
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27990) - you deserved it (3950)

On 05/19/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by forkmylife (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, on my Facebook, the stripper my ex husband cheated on me with showed up in the "People You May Know" box. FML

#16169595
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41631) - you deserved it (3827)

On 05/14/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, while tanning on a family cruise, I woke up to a crowd of people staring at me in disgust. Apparently, I'd fallen asleep, developed a boner, and started french-kissing the air. I had to sit through both the surveillance tapes and a grand bollocking from security in the aftermath. FML

#16161351
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37661) - you deserved it (9736)

On 05/13/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by f*cks_sake - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom and I had an argument about my laziness. We did this as I was eating uncooked rice because I didn't want to have to walk to the kitchen and put it into the microwave. FML

#16104577
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6910) - you deserved it (70924)

On 05/09/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by wtfseriously (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I work at McDonald's. The entire crew, myself included, got visibly excited that we had new trash cans and dust pans. FML

#16063941
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31314) - you deserved it (7406)

On 05/06/2011 at 1:15am - work - by Tyler (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend was introducing me to some business partners. As he was going along telling me their names, when he introduced me, he called me by my best friend's name. FML

#16043135
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37573) - you deserved it (3258)

On 05/04/2011 at 10:50am - love - by ohmylantis (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was running a marathon. I stopped to massage my stiff legs, when an elderly spectator taunted, "Oohhh yeah, that's it! Massage those legs good, boy!" She looked about 70. FML

#15919634
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27022) - you deserved it (4378)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, we've just hired a new load of people. As an icebreaker, we were paired up randomly and told to learn about our partner so that we can introduce them to the group. I got matched up with someone I've worked with for 4 months. Mid-conversation, I blurted out "I don't know your name." FML

#15877109
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8873) - you deserved it (26907)

On 04/21/2011 at 7:49pm - work - by Clueless (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I made my young niece lunch. After she claimed to have eaten it all, she wanted to go out and play. I was putting my shoes on when I found part of the sandwich I made her stuffed in my shoe. FML

#15784060
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24245) - you deserved it (4427)

On 04/14/2011 at 1:35pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had my girlfriend drive me to go buy a motorcycle. I rode it 50 minutes home, got in the drive way, put the kick stand down, and then lost my balance and fell on the other side. I paid $3000 to drop it in the first hour and break the turn signal off. FML

#15755743
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19303) - you deserved it (20840)

On 04/12/2011 at 1:45pm - misc - by scottskidee - United States (Ohio)

Today, after three days of hospital camping with my very sick husband, he was finally out of danger when I left last night to get my first good night's sleep in almost 96 hours. He woke me at 5 a.m. with a phone call asking me to bring him comic books because he's bored. FML

#15721476
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24524) - you deserved it (10427)

On 04/10/2011 at 6:59am - health - by Frazzled (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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