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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I went to register for college classes with my mom. Upon leaving, my mom confessed to me that she thinks I will get pregnant and drop out before my freshman year is over. FML

Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML

#17480180
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26640) - you deserved it (9252)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by blah (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I informed my family of my plans to divorce my wife after catching her cheating on me twice. They bitched me out because I will not be able to survive financially or emotionally without her support. I'm a doctor. She's been unemployed for 2 straight years. FML

#17444027
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37669) - you deserved it (2246)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:46pm - love - by Matt - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally noticed that my wife only shaves her bush when she goes on "business trips." FML

#17414090
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54794) - you deserved it (4605)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:59am - intimacy - by ksmith - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized burying my dog underneath our swing-set was a bad idea. My two sons are now scarred for life. FML

#17364695
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8003) - you deserved it (44508)

On 08/04/2011 at 6:19am - kids - by Bobsaget00 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

#17355075
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26125) - you deserved it (2728)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by doomeddaddy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML

#17241320
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39664) - you deserved it (8425)

On 07/24/2011 at 1:02pm - love - by Lonely (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

#17207993
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44433) - you deserved it (4695)

On 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm - money - by iwantmoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

#17188929
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43587) - you deserved it (3571)

On 07/20/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by therundown - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34267) - you deserved it (7158)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

#17146449
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25472) - you deserved it (19582)

On 07/17/2011 at 4:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

#17145151
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33645) - you deserved it (7383)

On 07/17/2011 at 2:24am - misc - by grenade (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

#17140359
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32684) - you deserved it (2409)

On 07/16/2011 at 8:19pm - health - by imobesejk (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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