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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

#16882947
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11417) - you deserved it (56949)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:15pm - misc - by ashhatches - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML

#16661874
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54806) - you deserved it (4695)

On 06/14/2011 at 2:37pm - love - by hatelife - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML

#16638777
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27383) - you deserved it (4293)

On 06/13/2011 at 1:39am - health - by ow (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML

#16589535
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51208) - you deserved it (3643)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by stepsister - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML

#16510311
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36446) - you deserved it (3298)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:00am - misc - by kyle - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on my first blind date. We went to a fancy restaurant in the middle in the city. After using the bathroom, I came back to an empty table. He stole my purse and left. FML

#16384205
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37036) - you deserved it (14857)

On 05/28/2011 at 8:44am - love - by dancer_2014 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

#16375821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37108) - you deserved it (5654)

On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML

#16294249
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27574) - you deserved it (3320)

On 05/22/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Greig - United States (Ohio)

Today, my school is having a mandatory class on etiquette. We've just now progressed onto forks after a long, tedious discussion on spoons. FML

#16255885
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28042) - you deserved it (3953)

On 05/19/2011 at 6:57pm - misc - by forkmylife (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, on my Facebook, the stripper my ex husband cheated on me with showed up in the "People You May Know" box. FML

#16169595
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41688) - you deserved it (3829)

On 05/14/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, while tanning on a family cruise, I woke up to a crowd of people staring at me in disgust. Apparently, I'd fallen asleep, developed a boner, and started french-kissing the air. I had to sit through both the surveillance tapes and a grand bollocking from security in the aftermath. FML

#16161351
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37713) - you deserved it (9741)

On 05/13/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by f*cks_sake - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom and I had an argument about my laziness. We did this as I was eating uncooked rice because I didn't want to have to walk to the kitchen and put it into the microwave. FML

#16104577
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6916) - you deserved it (70977)

On 05/09/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by wtfseriously (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I work at McDonald's. The entire crew, myself included, got visibly excited that we had new trash cans and dust pans. FML

#16063941
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31944) - you deserved it (7473)

On 05/06/2011 at 1:15am - work - by Tyler (man) - United States (Ohio)



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