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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

Today, I'm being admitted to the hospital for severe exhaustion. Why am I exhausted? For spending 12 hours at the hospital while my sister gave birth. The same hospital I'm being admitted to. FML

#17810811
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20440) - you deserved it (5315)

On 09/23/2011 at 1:47am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our sliding glass door. Just a few hours beforehand, my mom put up a strip of colored tape to stop this from happening. FML

#17805536
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8447) - you deserved it (27050)

On 09/22/2011 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my professor snapped and told me that I know nothing, that everything I've ever learned is wrong, and that all of my former teachers should be shot. FML

#17804951
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28079) - you deserved it (4575)

On 09/22/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by failure (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my stalker ex-girlfriend named her new born son after me. FML

#17794900
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35577) - you deserved it (3216)

On 09/21/2011 at 10:44am - love - by cjy152 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband went downstairs to play Call of Duty. When he came back after only 20 minutes I said, "Awww, did you miss me?" He said, "No, the controller died." FML

Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML

#17707171
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30648) - you deserved it (2421)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:57pm - kids - by why?! (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

#17688426
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40234) - you deserved it (11837)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm - money - by BigMoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at my grandparents' house, when the power went out. Even though we were supplied with candles and flashlights, we still had to stumble around in the darkness. They'd left both the candles and flashlights in the pitch black, unnavigable basement. FML

#17654474
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20270) - you deserved it (2686)

On 09/03/2011 at 4:52pm - misc - by itsgonnabealongnight... (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because I didn't know what her favorite ice cream was. She says it proves I don't care enough about her. I don't think I've ever seen her eat ice cream. FML

#17628013
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27410) - you deserved it (3479)

On 08/31/2011 at 5:16am - love - by wtf3456 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML

#17615072
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35798) - you deserved it (3460)

On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a mass text message from a friend saying she's sorry she can't meet up with our group of friends for drinks because she's busy tonight. This is the first I've heard of any bar-crawling. FML

#17577753
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22346) - you deserved it (2150)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58255) - you deserved it (7186)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)



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