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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33588) - you deserved it (7089)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

#17146449
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25306) - you deserved it (19531)

On 07/17/2011 at 4:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

#17145151
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32337) - you deserved it (7225)

On 07/17/2011 at 2:24am - misc - by grenade (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

#17140359
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32520) - you deserved it (2401)

On 07/16/2011 at 8:19pm - health - by imobesejk (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has been having an intimate text exchange with a woman. She's the grieving widow of his friend who died three weeks ago. FML

#17107042
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29757) - you deserved it (2366)

On 07/14/2011 at 11:53am - intimacy - by TheGoodTwin (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML

#17037512
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38974) - you deserved it (3100)

On 07/09/2011 at 3:04am - misc - by JohnyP - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

#16882947
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11137) - you deserved it (56238)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:15pm - misc - by ashhatches - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML

#16661874
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54744) - you deserved it (4693)

On 06/14/2011 at 2:37pm - love - by hatelife - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was home alone in my apartment. I tripped over my dresser and fell and sprained my ankle. As I was laying there in agonizing pain, my downstairs neighbor shouted at me to shut up. FML

#16638777
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26873) - you deserved it (4247)

On 06/13/2011 at 1:39am - health - by ow (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML

#16589535
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51133) - you deserved it (3634)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by stepsister - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML

#16510311
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36373) - you deserved it (3297)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:00am - misc - by kyle - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on my first blind date. We went to a fancy restaurant in the middle in the city. After using the bathroom, I came back to an empty table. He stole my purse and left. FML

#16384205
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36951) - you deserved it (14840)

On 05/28/2011 at 8:44am - love - by dancer_2014 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

#16375821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37044) - you deserved it (5651)

On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)



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