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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, at work, we've just hired a new load of people. As an icebreaker, we were paired up randomly and told to learn about our partner so that we can introduce them to the group. I got matched up with someone I've worked with for 4 months. Mid-conversation, I blurted out "I don't know your name." FML

#15877109
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8198) - you deserved it (25255)

On 04/21/2011 at 7:49pm - work - by Clueless (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I made my young niece lunch. After she claimed to have eaten it all, she wanted to go out and play. I was putting my shoes on when I found part of the sandwich I made her stuffed in my shoe. FML

#15784060
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22278) - you deserved it (4242)

On 04/14/2011 at 1:35pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had my girlfriend drive me to go buy a motorcycle. I rode it 50 minutes home, got in the drive way, put the kick stand down, and then lost my balance and fell on the other side. I paid $3000 to drop it in the first hour and break the turn signal off. FML

#15755743
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17591) - you deserved it (18771)

On 04/12/2011 at 1:45pm - misc - by scottskidee - United States (Ohio)

Today, after three days of hospital camping with my very sick husband, he was finally out of danger when I left last night to get my first good night's sleep in almost 96 hours. He woke me at 5 a.m. with a phone call asking me to bring him comic books because he's bored. FML

#15721476
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19832) - you deserved it (8590)

On 04/10/2011 at 6:59am - health - by Frazzled (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

#15582490
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44890) - you deserved it (4928)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:18pm - misc - by paige - United States (Ohio)

Today, while vacuuming my car, I discovered a hole in the floor under one of the seats. Unable to figure out where it came from, I took it to a professional, who informed me that a family of rats has been making my car their home for the last several months. How lovely. FML

#15464818
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25517) - you deserved it (4200)

On 03/24/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by chi_chia - United States (Ohio)

Today, my purse was stolen. Too bad it had all of my money and my passport. My flight is tomorrow, and the embassy is closed until Monday. Guess who gets to stay in a foreign country with no money and no identification for the next 3 days. FML

#15379875
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33824) - you deserved it (3250)

On 03/19/2011 at 8:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15934) - you deserved it (77900)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I painted an area I had carefully sanded, cleaned, and taped off. I pulled a fan out of the closet to help dry it faster. I turned the fan on, and a million dust particles flew off onto the wet paint. FML

#15124646
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10660) - you deserved it (25954)

On 02/26/2011 at 8:57am - misc - by Carmen - United States (Ohio)

Today, in an attempt to get some guidance from my college advisor, I emailed her, saying I was contemplating going to another school because I felt so helpless about my GPA, and was sure I wouldn't get my major. I asked for advice on raising it. She gave me instructions on how to drop out. FML

#15077863
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20770) - you deserved it (6243)

On 02/22/2011 at 12:19pm - misc - by academicloser (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

#15042917
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47888) - you deserved it (40066)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML

#15035621
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30401) - you deserved it (5032)

On 02/19/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

#14985467
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9241) - you deserved it (56322)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by howler (man) - United States (Ohio)



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