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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, my boyfriend poked me on Facebook. I got excited because this is as close as he's come to touching me in weeks. FML

#19112130
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25615) - you deserved it (4384)

On 02/19/2012 at 12:40am - love - by Skullie - United States (Ohio)

Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML

#19106281
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27906) - you deserved it (1788)

On 02/18/2012 at 9:20am - health - by AnastasiyaNicholas - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML

#19098452
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21260) - you deserved it (1878)

On 02/17/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, in a rush to get ready, I put on some "sexy" panties that I bought years ago. By the second hour of work, they were so tight and uncomfortable, I had to cut slits up the sides to avoid cutting off the circulation to my legs. FML

#19083998
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17666) - you deserved it (12774)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:26am - health - by too tight (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25389) - you deserved it (4184)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)

Today, my little brother went through all the artistic anatomy reference books and colored in all the nipples and penises with a bright pink sharpie. These books were from the library. FML

#18957870
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23045) - you deserved it (2678)

On 01/31/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, in preparation for proposing to my girlfriend, I borrowed one of her rings, so I could discreetly get her ring size. Not only have I now lost the ring, which turns out to be a keepsake of her dead grandmother, I still don't know her ring size. FML

#18795582
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14861) - you deserved it (39057)

On 01/13/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by machismo - United States (Ohio)

Today, I called my boyfriend over and over again and he never answered. His mom just called me and asked how I was holding up. I asked her what she meant and she had to tell me he checked himself into rehab because he was addicted to heroin. FML

#18708494
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33415) - you deserved it (3334)

On 01/04/2012 at 6:29pm - misc - by jada - United States (Ohio)

Today, I worked 4 hours for a huge mail call to get all the troops their Christmas mail. And just like every other mail call I did not receive one package or letter. FML

#18595916
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25810) - you deserved it (2170)

On 12/24/2011 at 3:38am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

#18513189
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20881) - you deserved it (26191)

On 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had an allergic reaction to my deodorant. My armpits wouldn't stop itching, and by the time my shift was over, they were raw and bloody. FML

#18494919
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30400) - you deserved it (3347)

On 12/12/2011 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, saying we're too different. His only example? He likes ham and I don't. FML

#18490588
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29945) - you deserved it (3967)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - love - by PunkChik27 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, and gave his little speech, over the phone. He did all this while his ass was firmly planted in a chair in the next room. FML

#18487719
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24948) - you deserved it (2266)

On 12/11/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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