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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I found out that my stalker ex-girlfriend named her new born son after me. FML

#17794900
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35498) - you deserved it (3204)

On 09/21/2011 at 10:44am - love - by cjy152 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband went downstairs to play Call of Duty. When he came back after only 20 minutes I said, "Awww, did you miss me?" He said, "No, the controller died." FML

Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML

#17707171
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30535) - you deserved it (2413)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:57pm - kids - by why?! (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

#17688426
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40127) - you deserved it (11808)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm - money - by BigMoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at my grandparents' house, when the power went out. Even though we were supplied with candles and flashlights, we still had to stumble around in the darkness. They'd left both the candles and flashlights in the pitch black, unnavigable basement. FML

#17654474
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19569) - you deserved it (2608)

On 09/03/2011 at 4:52pm - misc - by itsgonnabealongnight... (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because I didn't know what her favorite ice cream was. She says it proves I don't care enough about her. I don't think I've ever seen her eat ice cream. FML

#17628013
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26477) - you deserved it (3397)

On 08/31/2011 at 5:16am - love - by wtf3456 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML

#17615072
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34751) - you deserved it (3373)

On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a mass text message from a friend saying she's sorry she can't meet up with our group of friends for drinks because she's busy tonight. This is the first I've heard of any bar-crawling. FML

#17577753
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22242) - you deserved it (2147)

On 08/25/2011 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58096) - you deserved it (7177)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to register for college classes with my mom. Upon leaving, my mom confessed to me that she thinks I will get pregnant and drop out before my freshman year is over. FML

Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML

#17480180
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26544) - you deserved it (9236)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by blah (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I informed my family of my plans to divorce my wife after catching her cheating on me twice. They bitched me out because I will not be able to survive financially or emotionally without her support. I'm a doctor. She's been unemployed for 2 straight years. FML

#17444027
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37521) - you deserved it (2235)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:46pm - love - by Matt - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally noticed that my wife only shaves her bush when she goes on "business trips." FML

#17414090
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54639) - you deserved it (4595)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:59am - intimacy - by ksmith - United States (Ohio)



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