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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32906) - you deserved it (10783)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet the family. After several long moments of silence, one of my sisters burst out laughing, and asked, "Okay, who is this guy really?" FML

#17954133
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26078) - you deserved it (2601)

On 10/10/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by octoberrain - United States (Ohio)

Today, my roommate and I had to pay our first installment of rent. He's nowhere to be found. FML

#17911577
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25634) - you deserved it (2583)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:52pm - money - by pvtcab (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

Today, I'm being admitted to the hospital for severe exhaustion. Why am I exhausted? For spending 12 hours at the hospital while my sister gave birth. The same hospital I'm being admitted to. FML

#17810811
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19801) - you deserved it (5234)

On 09/23/2011 at 1:47am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our sliding glass door. Just a few hours beforehand, my mom put up a strip of colored tape to stop this from happening. FML

#17805536
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8397) - you deserved it (26928)

On 09/22/2011 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my professor snapped and told me that I know nothing, that everything I've ever learned is wrong, and that all of my former teachers should be shot. FML

#17804951
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27198) - you deserved it (4490)

On 09/22/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by failure (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my stalker ex-girlfriend named her new born son after me. FML

#17794900
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34908) - you deserved it (3150)

On 09/21/2011 at 10:44am - love - by cjy152 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband went downstairs to play Call of Duty. When he came back after only 20 minutes I said, "Awww, did you miss me?" He said, "No, the controller died." FML

Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML

#17707171
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30467) - you deserved it (2412)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:57pm - kids - by why?! (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

#17688426
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39421) - you deserved it (11587)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:25pm - money - by BigMoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at my grandparents' house, when the power went out. Even though we were supplied with candles and flashlights, we still had to stumble around in the darkness. They'd left both the candles and flashlights in the pitch black, unnavigable basement. FML

#17654474
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19506) - you deserved it (2605)

On 09/03/2011 at 4:52pm - misc - by itsgonnabealongnight... (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because I didn't know what her favorite ice cream was. She says it proves I don't care enough about her. I don't think I've ever seen her eat ice cream. FML

#17628013
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26419) - you deserved it (3395)

On 08/31/2011 at 5:16am - love - by wtf3456 (man) - United States (Ohio)



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