Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I realized burying my dog underneath our swing-set was a bad idea. My two sons are now scarred for life. FML

#17364695
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7467) - you deserved it (42600)

On 08/04/2011 at 6:19am - kids - by Bobsaget00 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

#17355075
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21197) - you deserved it (1968)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by doomeddaddy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML

#17241320
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35949) - you deserved it (7835)

On 07/24/2011 at 1:02pm - love - by Lonely (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

#17207993
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42541) - you deserved it (4545)

On 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm - money - by iwantmoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML

#17188929
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39346) - you deserved it (3268)

On 07/20/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by therundown - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30717) - you deserved it (6744)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

#17146449
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23831) - you deserved it (18877)

On 07/17/2011 at 4:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

#17145151
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27958) - you deserved it (6613)

On 07/17/2011 at 2:24am - misc - by grenade (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

#17140359
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28199) - you deserved it (2115)

On 07/16/2011 at 8:19pm - health - by imobesejk (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has been having an intimate text exchange with a woman. She's the grieving widow of his friend who died three weeks ago. FML

#17107042
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26233) - you deserved it (2098)

On 07/14/2011 at 11:53am - intimacy - by TheGoodTwin (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML

#17037512
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37361) - you deserved it (2964)

On 07/09/2011 at 3:04am - misc - by JohnyP - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

#16882947
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9388) - you deserved it (42592)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:15pm - misc - by ashhatches - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. That's where I met his pregnant girlfriend. FML

#16661874
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52879) - you deserved it (4541)

On 06/14/2011 at 2:37pm - love - by hatelife - United States (Ohio)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: