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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML

#18378000
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10396) - you deserved it (33072)

On 11/28/2011 at 6:54pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML

#18346597
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37399) - you deserved it (8354)

On 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by notgoodenough - United States (Ohio)

Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML

#18242988
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32774) - you deserved it (4278)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sent the texts "I love and miss you babe;)." and "Shit wrong person." to my ex just so he would think I have a life. FML

#18234157
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17132) - you deserved it (55712)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:16am - love - by random person - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML

#18196154
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36594) - you deserved it (5889)

On 11/08/2011 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot." Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML

#18180694
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24385) - you deserved it (3812)

On 11/06/2011 at 11:50pm - misc - by Kirby - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was shopping, I saw my old friend from high school. After a bit of talking, I ended up giving her my phone number. I wrote it on an old receipt. Little did I remember, the receipt was from when I bought lube and condoms. FML

#18146927
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15044) - you deserved it (34744)

On 11/03/2011 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by snownerd - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

#18129165
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22813) - you deserved it (21228)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, during my fourth solo day working as a meter-maid, I had a vehicle towed for being parked in front of a fire hydrant. The vehicle belonged to the governor. I'm scared to even show my face at work next week. FML

#18098771
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27598) - you deserved it (4283)

On 10/28/2011 at 8:19pm - work - by NoMoreMeters - United States (Ohio)

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

#18093581
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21566) - you deserved it (2450)

On 10/28/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

#18067303
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43660) - you deserved it (3328)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out the hard way that everyone in my dorm knows I watch My Little Pony. FML

#18047257
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10997) - you deserved it (37502)

On 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm - work - by Brony - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided I wanted to dye my hair a medium brown. Little did I know, some jerk switched the hair dye boxes. My hair is now bright orange. FML

#18045518
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29628) - you deserved it (5959)

On 10/22/2011 at 11:32am - misc - by Hair Fail - United States (Ohio)



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