FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I was trying to explain to my mom that I've been having panic attacks. I ended up having a panic attack from talking about having a panic attack. FML

by seriously? / 08/05/2013 at 1:11am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 1:29am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I finally gave away all of the stuffed animals that I've been hoarding for years. Proud, I told my family. They congratulated me by buying me stuffed animals. FML

by TheSacredTeddyBear / 07/30/2013 at 11:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML

by kiwichick4life / 07/30/2013 at 12:42pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother and I were discussing how we couldn't believe it's been nearly a year since my dad died. Not paying attention, my husband absentmindedly added, "Time flies when you're having fun." FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2013 at 3:06am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister backed out of my wedding because it was becoming too much about me. After I begged her to reconsider, I had no choice but to pick a new bridesmaid. When my new bridesmaid posted on Facebook how excited she was, my sister commented, "See, you made HER feel special." FML

by chumpslolo / 07/25/2013 at 6:55am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, an old lady steamrolled over my foot with her wheelchair, then laughed as she slowly rolled away, leaving my toes in ruins. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 1:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, my boyfriend insisted that I start calling him "Professor Fucktard" in the bedroom. He seems to be dead serious about it. FML

by O_O / 07/12/2013 at 4:15pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2013 at 12:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, during my family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2013 at 5:45pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I had a job interview. All was going well until the interviewer asked me, "So, why should we hire you?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Because, I'm awesome!" Don't think I'll be getting that one. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

by whorecrux / 07/01/2013 at 11:37pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy