Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

#18129165
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22762) - you deserved it (21209)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, during my fourth solo day working as a meter-maid, I had a vehicle towed for being parked in front of a fire hydrant. The vehicle belonged to the governor. I'm scared to even show my face at work next week. FML

#18098771
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27569) - you deserved it (4282)

On 10/28/2011 at 8:19pm - work - by NoMoreMeters - United States (Ohio)

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

#18093581
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21517) - you deserved it (2447)

On 10/28/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

#18067303
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43603) - you deserved it (3327)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out the hard way that everyone in my dorm knows I watch My Little Pony. FML

#18047257
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10980) - you deserved it (37458)

On 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm - work - by Brony - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided I wanted to dye my hair a medium brown. Little did I know, some jerk switched the hair dye boxes. My hair is now bright orange. FML

#18045518
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29592) - you deserved it (5956)

On 10/22/2011 at 11:32am - misc - by Hair Fail - United States (Ohio)

Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML

#18036176
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6851) - you deserved it (48672)

On 10/21/2011 at 12:57am - misc - by crankg - United States (Ohio)

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32843) - you deserved it (10771)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I brought my boyfriend over to meet the family. After several long moments of silence, one of my sisters burst out laughing, and asked, "Okay, who is this guy really?" FML

#17954133
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26048) - you deserved it (2597)

On 10/10/2011 at 7:16pm - love - by octoberrain - United States (Ohio)

Today, my roommate and I had to pay our first installment of rent. He's nowhere to be found. FML

#17911577
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25606) - you deserved it (2579)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:52pm - money - by pvtcab (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

Today, I'm being admitted to the hospital for severe exhaustion. Why am I exhausted? For spending 12 hours at the hospital while my sister gave birth. The same hospital I'm being admitted to. FML

#17810811
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19770) - you deserved it (5231)

On 09/23/2011 at 1:47am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our sliding glass door. Just a few hours beforehand, my mom put up a strip of colored tape to stop this from happening. FML

#17805536
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8389) - you deserved it (26880)

On 09/22/2011 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: