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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML

#18242988
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32758) - you deserved it (4278)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sent the texts "I love and miss you babe;)." and "Shit wrong person." to my ex just so he would think I have a life. FML

#18234157
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16965) - you deserved it (55338)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:16am - love - by random person - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML

#18196154
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36567) - you deserved it (5889)

On 11/08/2011 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot." Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML

#18180694
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24372) - you deserved it (3812)

On 11/06/2011 at 11:50pm - misc - by Kirby - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was shopping, I saw my old friend from high school. After a bit of talking, I ended up giving her my phone number. I wrote it on an old receipt. Little did I remember, the receipt was from when I bought lube and condoms. FML

#18146927
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15040) - you deserved it (34735)

On 11/03/2011 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by snownerd - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

#18129165
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22800) - you deserved it (21228)

On 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm - misc - by bakedplum (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, during my fourth solo day working as a meter-maid, I had a vehicle towed for being parked in front of a fire hydrant. The vehicle belonged to the governor. I'm scared to even show my face at work next week. FML

#18098771
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27592) - you deserved it (4283)

On 10/28/2011 at 8:19pm - work - by NoMoreMeters - United States (Ohio)

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

#18093581
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21557) - you deserved it (2449)

On 10/28/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

#18067303
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43645) - you deserved it (3328)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out the hard way that everyone in my dorm knows I watch My Little Pony. FML

#18047257
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10994) - you deserved it (37488)

On 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm - work - by Brony - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided I wanted to dye my hair a medium brown. Little did I know, some jerk switched the hair dye boxes. My hair is now bright orange. FML

#18045518
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29624) - you deserved it (5959)

On 10/22/2011 at 11:32am - misc - by Hair Fail - United States (Ohio)

Today, my roomie had guests over. I didn't feel like socializing, but I really had to piss. So I pissed in the plant in my room, spilled half of it, mopped it up with an old shirt, and went to bed. FML

#18036176
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6859) - you deserved it (48713)

On 10/21/2011 at 12:57am - misc - by crankg - United States (Ohio)

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32903) - you deserved it (10783)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)



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