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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, was the first day of my new job. My boss admitted that they hadn't cleaned the employee bathroom for over two months. My first task: clean the employee bathroom. FML

#19343109
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21624) - you deserved it (1748)

On 03/25/2012 at 3:12am - misc - by LesToiliettes - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was laying down in bed when my puppy decided to bite my ear. As I started laughing and pulling him off I noticed one of my $200 earrings got pulled off with it. And now I wait. FML

#19293168
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27946) - you deserved it (4791)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:16am - misc - by lizzie1833 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

#19285505
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31029) - you deserved it (4312)

On 03/15/2012 at 10:21pm - love - by spermbankonlegs (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML

#19195188
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24716) - you deserved it (2085)

On 03/01/2012 at 11:17am - health - by cmoney6452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom". That's how he put it, anyway. FML

#19183355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28702) - you deserved it (2164)

On 02/28/2012 at 5:04pm - love - by salt. - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend poked me on Facebook. I got excited because this is as close as he's come to touching me in weeks. FML

#19112130
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25423) - you deserved it (4374)

On 02/19/2012 at 12:40am - love - by Skullie - United States (Ohio)

Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML

#19106281
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26063) - you deserved it (1662)

On 02/18/2012 at 9:20am - health - by AnastasiyaNicholas - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML

#19098452
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21053) - you deserved it (1869)

On 02/17/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, in a rush to get ready, I put on some "sexy" panties that I bought years ago. By the second hour of work, they were so tight and uncomfortable, I had to cut slits up the sides to avoid cutting off the circulation to my legs. FML

#19083998
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16752) - you deserved it (12011)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:26am - health - by too tight (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25223) - you deserved it (4173)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)

Today, my little brother went through all the artistic anatomy reference books and colored in all the nipples and penises with a bright pink sharpie. These books were from the library. FML

#18957870
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21417) - you deserved it (2533)

On 01/31/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, in preparation for proposing to my girlfriend, I borrowed one of her rings, so I could discreetly get her ring size. Not only have I now lost the ring, which turns out to be a keepsake of her dead grandmother, I still don't know her ring size. FML

#18795582
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14798) - you deserved it (38849)

On 01/13/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by machismo - United States (Ohio)

Today, I called my boyfriend over and over again and he never answered. His mom just called me and asked how I was holding up. I asked her what she meant and she had to tell me he checked himself into rehab because he was addicted to heroin. FML

#18708494
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31555) - you deserved it (3150)

On 01/04/2012 at 6:29pm - misc - by jada - United States (Ohio)



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