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FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML

#20080998
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25055) - you deserved it (1297)

On 09/20/2012 at 5:34pm - health - by fuckalltwitardsintheface (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

#20078695
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7205) - you deserved it (29864)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom turned off all internet access in our house because she thought I spent too much time on the computer. She later asked me why she couldn't get on Facebook. FML

Today, I listened to my roommate and her friend struggle with their math homework for an hour. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact that I'm a math major and repeatedly offered my help. They'd rather fail math than be around me. FML

#20048130
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22174) - you deserved it (2442)

On 08/29/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by foreveralone.jpg (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "happy birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

#20009566
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34501) - you deserved it (3739)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

#19991658
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33377) - you deserved it (5028)

On 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by guy - United States (Ohio)

Today, my live-in-boyfriend lost his job. Jokingly, I told him that we weren't going to have sex until he found a new job. He then turned to me with the most excited look I have ever seen on his face and said "I am going to stay unemployed forever!" He was serious. FML

#19987101
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27078) - you deserved it (8315)

On 07/27/2012 at 9:45am - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while working as a manager at a restaurant, the "All employees must wash hands" sign in the bathroom was stolen. Now my employees won't wash their hands because they "don't have to." FML

#19986926
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22651) - you deserved it (2168)

On 07/27/2012 at 5:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why period blood couldn't be saved and donated to the hospital for transplants. FML

#19986009
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22195) - you deserved it (2010)

On 07/26/2012 at 8:46pm - misc - by Carrie G. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

#19984638
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28015) - you deserved it (5159)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Jarman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML

#19964000
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23362) - you deserved it (3107)

On 07/20/2012 at 2:23pm - love - by Taylor (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were at a park, alone, late at night. Things were getting kind of heavy and he started undressing me, when we heard a loud "Hey!" and a flashlight coming through the bushes. My boyfriend then decided to ditch me, while still holding my shirt and bra. FML

#19935393
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28856) - you deserved it (8658)

On 07/14/2012 at 1:06am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my power finally came back on. I excitedly went and spent $100 to refill my fridge, only to come back home and discover the power is out again, and might not be back on for another three days. FML



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