FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to the sound of my cat knocking things over. It wasn't until my boyfriend sat upright and checked, that I realized it actually wasn't our cat, but my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend trying to get into our second-story window. This isn't the first time she's done this. FML

by WendigogoAway / 08/15/2016 at 5:46am / United States (Ohio) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband offered to do the weekly grocery shopping. Because he has never done the shopping before, I made him a list of what we needed and other optional foods to give him an idea of what to get. He came back with a week's worth of ramen noodles and 2 litres of soda. FML

by hungry / 08/14/2016 at 11:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I and a coworker may get laid off soon, all because my boss's niece told him she can do both our jobs all by herself, and for less money. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2016 at 8:24am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, my mom grabbed my phone, said she was taking it because I'd been disrespectful, and hung up my call. I'd been speaking with a work client. This is the gratitude I get for paying all her bills for the past 2 years, all because she's too lazy to get a job. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2016 at 11:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was accepted to the college of my dreams. Then I checked the address. Turns out, the letter was meant for my neighbor. I was actually denied. FML

by RektForLyfe / 07/24/2016 at 11:32pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my batshit crazy coworker told me that she wants to hear my skin sizzle. I'm afraid to go to work now. FML

Today, I went to a new doctor. While filling out charts she looked up and said, "I'm assuming you are single." FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2016 at 6:28pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, my boyfriend wanted to get into an open relationship. He has no romantic feelings for me anymore, but he didn't want to separate from my cat. FML

by Katsura / 07/18/2016 at 8:43pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I received an almost $400 bill for Internet services I don't even have. When I called and talk to them they told me I still owe them $77 because I didn't catch it within 3 months. FML

by bug20 / 07/18/2016 at 5:27am / United States (Ohio) / Money

Today, after giving a potential employee a drug test and instructing her to leave her urine sample in the bathroom, she not only brought it into the office, she spilled it on the front desk. FML

by gross / 07/14/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I got grounded for having a boner when I woke up. FML

by nightjay / 07/11/2016 at 10:32am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom hadn't talked to me for 5 days, so worried sick I called my grandpa. She's been in jail, and no one cared to inform me. Great. FML

by abygalee / 07/10/2016 at 4:42pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my favorite pizza place will no longer deliver to my area after dark because they've been robbed too many times. FML

by quackers / 07/08/2016 at 3:00am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous