Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Ohio

Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML

#21304482
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20621) - you deserved it (6894)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:22pm - misc - by college student - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my dad for advice. I recently got drunk and had a one-night stand. I feel terrible, because I'm engaged to a wonderful lady. My dad just said, "You did the right thing, son, keep it up. She's gonna steal half ya shit in the divorce anyway". FML

#21299758
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19236) - you deserved it (28444)

On 11/15/2014 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a dream where I was cuddling with a girl. She rolled over to face me, snuggled up into the crook of my neck, then muttered in disgust, "Ugh, your breath stinks!" Cock-blocked in my own dreams. FML

#21296653
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31450) - you deserved it (3924)

On 11/11/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by mouthwash - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took a video of a fellow employee doing nothing but watching YouTube videos at work. When I showed the video to my boss, hoping he'd be reprimanded, I got fired for operating video equipment on company grounds. FML

#21293428
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26401) - you deserved it (33176)

On 11/06/2014 at 2:09pm - work - by NoJobNovember - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

#21289746
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34629) - you deserved it (4710)

On 11/01/2014 at 2:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML

#21286908
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31790) - you deserved it (3588)

On 10/28/2014 at 10:07am - misc - by bottombarrel - United States (Ohio)

Today, I overheard my co-workers talking about how they don't need flu shots because everyone else gets them. These people are in the medical industry. FML

#21286250
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31104) - you deserved it (2924)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40am - work - by Silbax1 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

#21283544
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37846) - you deserved it (9982)

On 10/23/2014 at 12:04am - love - by Rachel - United States (Ohio)

Today, I never really thought that my boyfriend and brother having the same name was too weird. Until I called out his name during climax. FML

#21279374
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36513) - you deserved it (4632)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, this girl I've been talking to texted me, saying she was going to visit. Trying to be sweet, I bought her $50 worth of chocolate and a cute card. Turns out she meant to send that text to her ex. Seems like the only thing I'll get from this relationship is diabetes. FML

#21271233
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32528) - you deserved it (4750)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, the day before my wife and I leave for our 1 year anniversary trip, I realized my passport expires in 2014, not 2015. Instead of a week's stay at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, we'll be spending three days in Louisville. Three angry days in Louisville. FML

#21266059
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30153) - you deserved it (18100)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:23pm - love - by dumass - United States (Ohio)

Today, I overcame my debilitating seasickness long enough to have a shower and take a breath of fresh air on the cruise ship balcony. Then as a reward, a passing seagull shat on my head. FML

#21255023
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31995) - you deserved it (2620)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:53am - health - by nomfuck - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about the lack of communication in our relationship. I told him that sometimes I feel like he doesn't really care about me at all. If he did, he would listen more. His response? "I know your name, don't I?" FML

#21246190
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36988) - you deserved it (4919)

On 08/27/2014 at 12:56am - love - by Iamthatgirl (woman) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: