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FMLs submitted from Nova Scotia

Today, I finally found out why my husband is always so eager and happy to buy me whatever I am craving during my pregnancy. It's because it gives him an excuse to meet up with his mistress and have a quickie. FML

#21294259
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48573) - you deserved it (2888)

On 11/07/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found out it is possible to get whiplash and a concussion from a tickle fight you have with your boyfriend. FML

#21292929
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26839) - you deserved it (3532)

On 11/05/2014 at 7:48pm - health - by cjhgvb - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

#21281002
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19441) - you deserved it (37541)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:24am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I overheard my dad say "Last time I didn't use a condom, I ended up with Steven, so for god's sake use 'em." I'm Steven. FML

#21244545
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38477) - you deserved it (3042)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found out that my doctor wasn't kidding when he said "sudden diarrhea may occur" with my new medication. I learned this while walking my dog a mile away from my house. FML

Today, I was singing in the shower, not realising the window was open. When I got out, the neighbours were at the front door, loudly arguing with my mother. They were complaining about my awful singing. FML

#21207963
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37090) - you deserved it (6107)

On 07/13/2014 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my boyfriend informed me of how I had really hurt his feelings. Apparently, not wanting to be sent a photo of his poop is hurtful. FML

#21188342
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39578) - you deserved it (5281)

On 06/25/2014 at 7:38pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was really hungry at work, and my stomach growled loudly. One of my co-workers heard it and thought it was a cat. Ashamed, I played dumb and we ended up spending twenty minutes looking for a cat that I knew didn't exist. FML

#21170120
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40071) - you deserved it (17479)

On 06/10/2014 at 9:01pm - animals - by imalosertho (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my water pipes froze and burst and I now have to take snow from my back yard and boil it down into water in order to flush my toilet. FML

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36852) - you deserved it (3375)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, one of my online friends told me he's bought a plane ticket, so he can come visit me. I've told him multiple times before that I'm uncomfortable with this idea, but he keeps telling me to stop joking, and reminding me that he'll have no other place to stay. FML

Today, I cut my own bangs. I pulled too much hair to the front and ended up giving myself a mullet. FML

#20733203
123 comments

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

#20662599
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37892) - you deserved it (12087)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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