FMLs submitted from Nottingham

Today, my period started again. I just finished a 17-day period 3 days ago. FML

by period pains / 08/22/2015 at 6:47am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Health

Today, I had to explain to several young children why asking the new blind girl to play hide and seek with them is inappropriate. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 12:52pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Kids

Today, my husband of 3 weeks told me he doesn't want to be married anymore because I suggested getting a joint bank account. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2015 at 3:21am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Love

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

by pooplife / 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, after visiting friends for the weekend, I took the wrong train home. It was going in completely the opposite direction. I've now missed the last train back, will miss work tomorrow and have just been asked to vacate the train station. I'm 120 miles from home. FML

by Quackadoodledoo / 11/16/2014 at 6:25pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I dropped my suitcase on my toe. Don't worry, it was already broken. FML

by laurenasabutton / 12/30/2013 at 8:07am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Health

Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML

by Eggs6131 / 10/15/2013 at 9:09am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I left hospital after a three-night stay. Whilst waiting for my taxi to arrive, my mother called me in hysterics wanting to know where I was, because the police had called her and told her I had gone missing. Turns out my doctor "forgot" to tell anyone that I was discharged. FML

by Becckzfizz / 06/20/2013 at 10:10am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

by i hit a cyclist / 05/27/2013 at 7:19am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation

Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML

by Gem / 04/05/2013 at 7:04am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the street, when a car started cruising alongside me. I looked over, annoyed, at which point the driver started screaming obscenities and telling me that I'm "gonna get it" for "betraying" him, before angrily speeding off. I'm too scared to even sleep now. FML

by Saw / 02/10/2012 at 9:14pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation

Today, I hooked up with a guy I'm totally in love with. After finishing, he burst into tears about being in love with another girl. I had to comfort him. FML

by random / 01/29/2012 at 5:53am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Intimacy

Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML

by doctorsandnurses / 01/13/2012 at 5:47am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Intimacy