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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Nottingham

Today, I was walking down the street, when a car started cruising alongside me. I looked over, annoyed, at which point the driver started screaming obscenities and telling me that I'm "gonna get it" for "betraying" him, before angrily speeding off. I'm too scared to even sleep now. FML

#19044019 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (4313) - you deserved it (403)

On 02/10/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by Saw (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I hooked up with a guy I'm totally in love with. After finishing, he burst into tears about being in love with another girl. I had to comfort him. FML

#18940939 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (6643) - you deserved it (944)

On 01/29/2012 at 5:53am - intimacy - by random - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML

#18793525 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (7103) - you deserved it (941)

On 01/13/2012 at 5:47am - intimacy - by doctorsandnurses (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I was walking down the road when a twat on a quad-bike smashed into my leg. It seems that I should've been "walking on the right side of the pavement." FML

#18199894 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (6460) - you deserved it (885)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:57am - misc - by LukeyBoy - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

#17380404 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (25449) - you deserved it (2201)

On 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, an unpaid intern had his first day at my workplace of seven years. As a joke, my boss gave him the same challenge she gave me on my first day. The intern completed it in 37 minutes. We've always been told it's impossible. Guess we all have to start working harder. FML

#16104654 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (8550) - you deserved it (19694)

On 05/09/2011 at 1:33pm - work - by 19apollo91 (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got feedback on an essay I wrote, by my mum who is also a teacher. She said it was 'worse than most of her pupils'. She teaches 10-year-olds. I'm a 20-year-old student at university. FML

#14132793 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (8111) - you deserved it (11153)

On 12/08/2010 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I paid for my shopping at a self paying checkout. I had a lot of shopping and there was a big line. When I scanned my last item, the machine read out, "EXTRA SMALL LUBRICATED DUREX CONDOMS." FML

#12679299 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (25267) - you deserved it (16098)

On 08/22/2010 at 5:37am - intimacy - by YogiBear - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I got fired from my job as a postman, which I started yesterday. They fired me because I failed to deliver a bunch of papers to a road that no longer exists. FML

#8946577 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (21060) - you deserved it (1405)

On 03/09/2010 at 2:41pm - work - by pat (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML

#6464238 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (18595) - you deserved it (2109)

On 11/26/2009 at 3:30pm - misc - by has-evil-friends (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I came back home to meet people before going away to university, including my ex and her new boyfriend. We broke up about two months ago and there were no bad feelings between us, so I decided to have a chat with them. I asked "How long have you been going out?" He replied "Seven months." FML

#6102050 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (29478) - you deserved it (1533)

On 11/01/2009 at 2:02pm - love - by H4rd_Man (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I found a letter in the postbox at my new flat which ran something along these lines of: "Hi. We're the gas company. You owe us £1229.79 and have 7 days to pay us. Lotsa love, dated 7th September." FML

#5638823 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (22262) - you deserved it (2489)

On 10/04/2009 at 9:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I awakened from my peaceful slumber in a great mood. I walked into my closet, ready to pick out an outfit for the day, to find my two year old daughter, kneeling on the floor with a pair of scissors in her hand, cutting up my wedding dress - my wedding is tomorrow. FML

#5019794 (375)

I agree, your life sucks (50726) - you deserved it (8613)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)