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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML

#18819143
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29103) - you deserved it (6696)

On 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm - love - by geeklove - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at work, and was told to clean up the urine that a child had left down the slide inside the play place. While in the slide, another little kid peed on my head. FML

#18538451
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26260) - you deserved it (2156)

On 12/17/2011 at 7:19pm - work - by kellb123 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after staying up all night with an excruciating headache, it finally went away. I crawled into bed and snuggled up to my husband only to have him shift positions and elbow me right in the head. FML

#18534039
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27443) - you deserved it (2772)

On 12/17/2011 at 6:09am - health - by wideawakeandinpain - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML

#18499980
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17176) - you deserved it (43695)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:16am - health - by LogicalMolly - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML

#18488568
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29719) - you deserved it (3908)

On 12/11/2011 at 8:37pm - love - by wow (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

#18433166
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41882) - you deserved it (10869)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML

#18367915
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26250) - you deserved it (2428)

On 11/27/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by davidh5012 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML

#18341424
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30942) - you deserved it (2836)

On 11/24/2011 at 9:09pm - intimacy - by vistingherfamily (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was heading to the beach with my mom following. I went through a yellow light and got a call from her complaining that I had left her. So, I made it a point to stop at the next yellow light. She rear-ended me. FML

Today, my date threw a fit, burst into tears, and made a huge scene in the middle of a crowded restaurant, all because I offered to pay. FML

Today, only after I almost knocked myself out cold with the shampoo bottle, did I finally get some out. FML

#18229503
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17599) - you deserved it (5320)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:13pm - health - by Courtney (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I have an ear infection, and everything I hear echoes inside my head. I'm an orchestra teacher, and we have our first concert next week. FML

#18031007
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27008) - you deserved it (2206)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:44pm - work - by dolceconfuoco (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51910) - you deserved it (16572)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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