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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. Soon, I noticed he was being very quiet. When I looked up, he was in a deep sleep. FML

#19053035
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26561) - you deserved it (7617)

On 02/11/2012 at 11:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML

#18988836
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20849) - you deserved it (2918)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:22am - health - by foxyreegan - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was left at the altar. For the second time. By the same man. FML

#18949271
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31415) - you deserved it (56451)

On 01/30/2012 at 12:37am - love - by givingup (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I noticed a man in my neighborhood waving at me. I don't talk to him often so I excitedly waved back. Turns out he was trying to warn me of the car about to hit me. FML

#18878562
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24778) - you deserved it (3910)

On 01/22/2012 at 9:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML

#18819143
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29011) - you deserved it (6680)

On 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm - love - by geeklove - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at work, and was told to clean up the urine that a child had left down the slide inside the play place. While in the slide, another little kid peed on my head. FML

#18538451
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26151) - you deserved it (2150)

On 12/17/2011 at 7:19pm - work - by kellb123 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after staying up all night with an excruciating headache, it finally went away. I crawled into bed and snuggled up to my husband only to have him shift positions and elbow me right in the head. FML

#18534039
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26789) - you deserved it (2723)

On 12/17/2011 at 6:09am - health - by wideawakeandinpain - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML

#18499980
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17125) - you deserved it (43599)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:16am - health - by LogicalMolly - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML

#18488568
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29602) - you deserved it (3894)

On 12/11/2011 at 8:37pm - love - by wow (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

#18433166
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41750) - you deserved it (10840)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML

#18367915
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26139) - you deserved it (2421)

On 11/27/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by davidh5012 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML

#18341424
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30830) - you deserved it (2829)

On 11/24/2011 at 9:09pm - intimacy - by vistingherfamily (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was heading to the beach with my mom following. I went through a yellow light and got a call from her complaining that I had left her. So, I made it a point to stop at the next yellow light. She rear-ended me. FML



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