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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, in the middle of dinner, I went to rest my chin on my hand, missed, and stuck the straw from my drink straight up my nose. FML

#55148
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37469) - you deserved it (6896)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:36pm - love - by EK (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was talking with some of my friends who are girls. They were all complaining about how there was no good boys left to ask to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Hoping for an invite I mentioned I was still availiable. They just laughed at me and invited me to come dress shopping with them. FML

#18079
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37321) - you deserved it (4048)

On 02/09/2009 at 6:47pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

#13946
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30528) - you deserved it (3237)

On 02/07/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was talking to a guy at the bar and I told him I was a biology major. He promptly said, "NEXT" and moved on to the girl next to me. FML

#12870
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30190) - you deserved it (3016)

On 02/07/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by biomajor (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML

#11697
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77732) - you deserved it (17049)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I committed to babysitting on Valentine's Day not because I needed the money, but because I just got dumped. FML

#11684
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22331) - you deserved it (2299)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by alone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was awarding medals to finalists in a school club. While putting one around someones neck, I ended up poking a girl in the eye. She tried to be a trooper by continuing to walk across stage but i guess her eyes got really watery because she missed the step and fell, breaking her ankle. FML

#10323
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23020) - you deserved it (7071)

On 02/05/2009 at 3:13pm - misc - by Craig (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to the doctor's office because I was sick. The male nurse led me back and when he weighed me, he said "Why do I get all the beefy girls today?". FML

#9160
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33529) - you deserved it (5016)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:05am - health - by makinascene (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

#6869
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33193) - you deserved it (2572)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:55pm - kids - by Morgan (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML

#6752
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28768) - you deserved it (27819)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:55pm - work - by kprice6 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked in on my porn addicted roommate watching a gynecologist exam online. He asked me to watch it with him. FML

#6607
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42371) - you deserved it (3708)

On 02/03/2009 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by Escape! (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML

#6511
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25486) - you deserved it (6909)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:25pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

#6481
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44798) - you deserved it (3358)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by BRELLA (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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