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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, I was awarding medals to finalists in a school club. While putting one around someones neck, I ended up poking a girl in the eye. She tried to be a trooper by continuing to walk across stage but i guess her eyes got really watery because she missed the step and fell, breaking her ankle. FML

#10323
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22938) - you deserved it (7063)

On 02/05/2009 at 3:13pm - misc - by Craig (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to the doctor's office because I was sick. The male nurse led me back and when he weighed me, he said "Why do I get all the beefy girls today?". FML

#9160
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33446) - you deserved it (5011)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:05am - health - by makinascene (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

#6869
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33100) - you deserved it (2564)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:55pm - kids - by Morgan (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML

#6752
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28696) - you deserved it (27758)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:55pm - work - by kprice6 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked in on my porn addicted roommate watching a gynecologist exam online. He asked me to watch it with him. FML

#6607
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42259) - you deserved it (3706)

On 02/03/2009 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by Escape! (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 4 year old niece asked me why I didn't have a job or wife. FML

#6511
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25314) - you deserved it (6882)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:25pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

#6481
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44720) - you deserved it (3350)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by BRELLA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

#5836
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18435) - you deserved it (13014)

On 02/02/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by wtf - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML

#2721
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5457) - you deserved it (29496)

On 01/26/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by godhatesme - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the first guy I've ever loved is going to a fancy rush party with my best friend. He did tell me he needed space to think about us this whole weekend. I guess I know what he's been thinking. FML

#2350
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16469) - you deserved it (1548)

On 01/23/2009 at 2:13pm - love - by sleepy125 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says "What's for dinner?". FML

#2177
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6742) - you deserved it (23745)

On 01/22/2009 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom just handed me a book called "100 Ways To Motivate Yourself." FML

#1823
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13109) - you deserved it (4974)

On 01/20/2009 at 3:27am - misc - by JackAttack - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML

#1384
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11403) - you deserved it (33613)

On 01/16/2009 at 2:38pm - animals - by Fucked - United States (North Carolina)



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