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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, my dad had gotten a new cell phone. So I started to mess around with the cool features on his phone and stumbled upon some pictures he had taken. Next thing I know I'm looking at my mom going down on my dad. FML

#163784
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46874) - you deserved it (24324)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by AppState (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML

#142269
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41077) - you deserved it (24761)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:08am - kids - by iailwkrb (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML

#128340
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95684) - you deserved it (6703)

On 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm - animals - by sammatthews2007 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I applied for a job in an Italian restaurant. Ideally I wanted to be a hostess rather than a waitress, and I told the manager as much. His response? "No no no. Hostess no good for you. We leave that to the pretty girls." FML

#121635
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46475) - you deserved it (3679)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:37am - work - by Ren (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while leaving school to skip fourth period, I hit someone's car in the parking lot. It was the teacher's whose class I was going to skip. FML

#88598
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9731) - you deserved it (52784)

On 02/20/2009 at 2:21pm - misc - by Ava777 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up in a girls bed, that I have had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

#77324
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44406) - you deserved it (3586)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:29am - misc - by VacationTSA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to McDonald's for lunch and ordered a salad. The man behind the counter looked at me and said "Well, at least you're trying." FML

#70885
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53002) - you deserved it (8406)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:52pm - health - by blawbo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I let my friend who is in 'beauty school' do my hair. I now look like i have a mullet. What was supposed to be auburn highlights is now hot pink. I have a job interview in the morning. FML

#66787
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15421) - you deserved it (32281)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:35am - misc - by asdf1851 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

#60108
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66042) - you deserved it (5135)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:27am - misc - by stillsingleladies (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at physical therapy, the girl next to me had a blue armband. I said, "Hey, sweet iPod". She said, "Actually, I have diabetes." FML

#56080
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10285) - you deserved it (36701)

On 02/16/2009 at 8:31pm - health - by LA (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, in the middle of dinner, I went to rest my chin on my hand, missed, and stuck the straw from my drink straight up my nose. FML

#55148
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37434) - you deserved it (6891)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:36pm - love - by EK (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was talking with some of my friends who are girls. They were all complaining about how there was no good boys left to ask to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Hoping for an invite I mentioned I was still availiable. They just laughed at me and invited me to come dress shopping with them. FML

#18079
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37261) - you deserved it (4040)

On 02/09/2009 at 6:47pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

#13946
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30487) - you deserved it (3236)

On 02/07/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)



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