FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, my kitchen sink was clogged. I poured a bottle of Drano down and came back two hours later. The clog is still there, but the glue on the pipe is not and now there is Drano-water all over the floor, staining and dissolving everything in my kitchen. FML

by MisterT / 05/18/2010 at 9:23pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home after ten hours at work to find my unemployed wife and 4 kids sprawled out watching TV waiting for me to get home and cook for them. I had to wash all the dishes first because they didn't feel like getting up or helping. FML

by justkillm3 / 05/13/2010 at 12:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I discovered the same erotic pictures my wife emailed to me while I was deployed were emailed to several other guys by her. FML

by ncjarhead / 04/24/2010 at 7:38pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I took a picture of my boobs and sent it to my boyfriend, only to realize after I hit "send" that I had sent them to the taxi driver (my last phone call) who had just dropped me off at my house. He won't stop calling my phone now. FML

by BoobSicle / 04/17/2010 at 7:37pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2010 at 4:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, after a horrible day at school, I went through the McDonald's drive thru for an ice cream cone. Everything went well until I had to pull a sharp turn. The ice cream is now no longer on the cone, but instead all over my hands, face, steering wheel, and the carpet. FML

by teachingsucks / 03/14/2010 at 2:29pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 6:00pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2010 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, my husband bought me a beautiful pair of earrings for my birthday, to match the necklace he'd spent months searching for online the previous year. What necklace? He gave me a watch he found at Walmart last year. I wonder who the lucky girl with the necklace is. FML

by happybirthday / 03/06/2010 at 2:42pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my parents decided they won't pay for college because of a Fox News story that said higher education "makes you liberal." FML

by merse / 02/18/2010 at 8:20am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML

by Nick / 02/11/2010 at 1:35pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, after getting home from school, I realized I'd tucked my shirt into my underwear this morning. I'm fairly certain everyone got a good look at my lime green underwear. FML

by asdfghjkl / 02/10/2010 at 2:20pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I am jobless after graduation. Ironic, since when I started college with my education degree, I was congratulated, told of the teacher shortage in my state, and how quickly I would be able to find a job. Three years in, the economy tanks, and the state issues a teacher hiring freeze. FML

by FMJoblessL / 02/04/2010 at 12:02am / United States (North Carolina) / Work