FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, after a horrible day at school, I went through the McDonald's drive thru for an ice cream cone. Everything went well until I had to pull a sharp turn. The ice cream is now no longer on the cone, but instead all over my hands, face, steering wheel, and the carpet. FML

by teachingsucks / 03/14/2010 at 2:29pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 6:00pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2010 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, my husband bought me a beautiful pair of earrings for my birthday, to match the necklace he'd spent months searching for online the previous year. What necklace? He gave me a watch he found at Walmart last year. I wonder who the lucky girl with the necklace is. FML

by happybirthday / 03/06/2010 at 2:42pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my parents decided they won't pay for college because of a Fox News story that said higher education "makes you liberal." FML

by merse / 02/18/2010 at 8:20am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML

by Nick / 02/11/2010 at 1:35pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, after getting home from school, I realized I'd tucked my shirt into my underwear this morning. I'm fairly certain everyone got a good look at my lime green underwear. FML

by asdfghjkl / 02/10/2010 at 2:20pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I am jobless after graduation. Ironic, since when I started college with my education degree, I was congratulated, told of the teacher shortage in my state, and how quickly I would be able to find a job. Three years in, the economy tanks, and the state issues a teacher hiring freeze. FML

by FMJoblessL / 02/04/2010 at 12:02am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, my boyfriend accused me of deleting my texts from my phone because I'm afraid of him finding out about another man in my life. Truth is, I don't have a life outside of him. FML

by lonestar / 02/03/2010 at 8:57am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I thought it would be romantic to take my girlfriend to the beach. It was raining so we left our shoes and phones in the car so we wouldn't be bothered. Apparently, I left my keys in the car too. The car was locked. FML

by Forgetfull / 02/02/2010 at 12:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I found out that my boyfriend asked me to marry him because he could get a tax cut from buying the ring. All of this happened in front of his mother. FML

by engagedmaybe / 02/02/2010 at 1:20am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML

by ouch / 01/29/2010 at 3:19pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML

by KillahCam / 01/25/2010 at 7:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids