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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Yesterday, I went to see mah guidance counselor. I was supposed to hear from mah college about a scholarship by October 3rd. I was worried since it was already the 2nd so I went to talk to her. She never turned in mah nomination. Goodbye $80,000 scholarship. FML

#5615281
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48946) - you deserved it (2778)

On 10/03/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by Screwed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

TODAY, I WANT TO THA DOCTOR TO TRY AND GAT ANSWARS ABOUT THA NUMBNASS AND TINGLING IN MAH RIGHT LAG!! THA DR TOLD MA I WAS TOO FAT FOR MAH PANTS, AND I PINCHAD A NARVA!! MAGA FML

#5604597
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11797) - you deserved it (35880)

On 10/02/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by apowell5 - United States (North Carolina)

I was talking to my mom about how my fiancé has been ignoring me an that I didn't know why. Turns out, my mother told him that I was too much of a handful, was mentally disturbd an also cheating on him. Just so I wouldn't move out an would keep cleaning her house 4 free. real FML

#5567038
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51773) - you deserved it (2523)

On 09/30/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by Notthemaid (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at lunch with mah grlfriend. The waitress came up and asked fir her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as mah grlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, looool tonight. FML

#5548309
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46133) - you deserved it (6635)

On 09/29/2009 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

TODAY I WAS IN THE BATHROOM DEFECATING WHEN I FELT SOMETHING HANGING THERE. I REACHD BACK WITH TOILET PAPER AND STARTING PULLING IT OUT INCH BY INCH; 3 FEET LATER I LEREND I HAD A TAPEWORM. WORST OF ALL, NO PHARMACY HAS THE MD THE DOCTOR PRESCRIBD. I HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS THING UNTIL THE MD GETS HERE. FML

#5276065
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61912) - you deserved it (3555)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)

TODAY, GIRLFRIEND LEFT ME FIR ER BOSS. TE SAME BOSS TAT, TWO WEEKS AGO, CAUSED ER TO COME TO ME CRYING CUZ E WAS SEXUALLY ARASSING ER AT WORK. WEN I TOLD ER I'D INTERVENE, SE TOLD ME SE'D ANDLE IT. I GUESS SE CERTAINLY DID.

#5192617
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37635) - you deserved it (1963)

On 09/11/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today... while riding in the car with mah friends... we stopped at a red light. To our left... a very obese... middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers fir the duration of the red light. FML

#5034499
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45347) - you deserved it (5133)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)

2day I saw ma boyfriand aftar not saaing im fir 7 monts. During tis tima I ava lost a lot of waigt and am proud of it. My boyfriand didn't say anyting about ta lost waigt. Wan wa wara alona and tings startad to aat up... a took off ma bra and said "I tink your tits ara smallar." FML

#5020137
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48612) - you deserved it (4758)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:38pm - love - by LosTits (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

TODAY.. . I CUMMD BACK FROM A TWO WEEK VACATION . AS I WALKD IN THE DOOR.. . MY BOYFRIEND GREETD ME WITH A ( HEY.. . HONEY! COULD YOU CLEAN THE CROCKPOT? ) IT STILL HAD THE CHICKEN IN IT FROM MY GOING AWAY DINNER . FML

Taday We Had Bingo . Three Rounds Into It A Group Behind Me Started To Yell, ( BINGO, BINGO! ) . I Looked Around And Saw No One Was Coming To Verify That They Had A Bingo, So I Turned Around And Said ( Stand Up . ) The Girl Was A Midget, She Was Standing Up . FML

#4838689
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34850) - you deserved it (13429)

On 08/26/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

TODAY, WHILE AT AN AMUSEMENT PARK HUSBAND LEFT ME TO WALK WITH ALL OF OUR FRIENDS CUZ HE SAID THAT I MOVED TOO SLOW. I'M PREGNANT. FML

Today, for karaoke, I sang American Woman by Lenny Kravitz. The entire audience cracked up laughing and at least three people pulled out thier cell phones to record my performance. At the end, the DJ said, "Looks like someone had too much tonight." I was completely sober. FML

#4813965
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37468) - you deserved it (10670)

On 08/25/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by Cossack_Man (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today it was 17th birthday!! My mom forgot an best friend is out of town!! The highlight of day? The guy at McDonald slipped an extra apple pie in bag!! FML

#4719032
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35834) - you deserved it (2707)

On 08/21/2009 at 9:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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