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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, I saw my boyfriend after not seeing him for 7 months. During this time I have lost a lot of weight and am proud of it. My boyfriend didn't say anything about the lost weight. When we were alone and things started to heat up, he took off my bra and said "I think your tits are smaller." FML

#5020137
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47621) - you deserved it (4672)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:38pm - love - by LosTits (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I came back from a two week vacation. As I walked in the door, my boyfriend greeted me with a "Hey, honey! Could you clean the crockpot?" It still had the chicken in it from my going away dinner. FML

Today, we had bingo. Three rounds into it a group behind me started to yell, "BINGO, BINGO!". I looked around and saw no one was coming to verify that they had a bingo, so I turned around and said "Stand up." The girl was a midget, she was standing up. FML

#4838689
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33606) - you deserved it (13137)

On 08/26/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at an amusement park my husband left me to walk with all of our friends because he said that I moved too slow. I'm pregnant. FML

Today, for karaoke, I sang American Woman by Lenny Kravitz. The entire audience cracked up laughing and at least three people pulled out their cell phones to record my performance. At the end, the DJ said, "Looks like someone had too much tonight." I was completely sober. FML

#4813965
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36278) - you deserved it (10382)

On 08/25/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by Cossack_Man (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it was my 17th birthday. My mom forgot and my best friend is out of town. The highlight of my day? The guy at McDonalds slipped an extra apple pie in my bag. FML

#4719032
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35621) - you deserved it (2695)

On 08/21/2009 at 9:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it was my first day of school as a freshman. I soon became lost and decided to ask a senior for directions to my class. They smiled at me and said "It's on the third floor to the right." After ten minutes of walking up and down stairs and hallways, I discovered there is no third floor. FML

#4690268
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27823) - you deserved it (19070)

On 08/20/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I made the "Good luck, We'll miss you!" sign for my own going away party. FML

#4529563
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46101) - you deserved it (4925)

On 08/14/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by loverpants (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I ran sound for my ex's wedding rehearsal since I was the only sound tech in town. Her dad was late for the rehearsal, so the pastor had me to walk her down the aisle. FML

#4482607
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49374) - you deserved it (3422)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:14pm - work - by d.stack (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've been seeing. Apparently he doesn't believe in condoms and took it off without my knowing; I didn't realize until after. When I asked him in horror why he would do such a thing, he said "I love you. I want you to have my child." It had been our second date. FML

#4408300
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64062) - you deserved it (34310)

On 08/09/2009 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by SoniaLovesYou - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took a shower in a beachhouse we're renting for the week. Once I get out, I realize the house doesn't supply towels, my entire family was outside in the front yard, my cell phone was upstairs, and there are no blinds. I stood under a ceiling fan naked for 20 minutes trying to dry off. FML

#4366169
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32087) - you deserved it (13815)

On 08/07/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by helplesssssss (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was pretending to use the force to operate the elevator at my hotel, getting really into it. Someone was waiting to get on at my floor and saw me. Not to mention the staff now brings it up every time I'm around. Apparently they have cameras in their elevators. FML

#4342634
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8063) - you deserved it (38727)

On 08/06/2009 at 7:16pm - misc - by beckzx58 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML

#4238671
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51753) - you deserved it (2233)

On 08/02/2009 at 8:59pm - misc - by amburrr (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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