Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, I asked my friend who is a fashion major why she didn't want to use me as a model for her senior project. She said my boobs were too big. I doubt it'd have been an issue if I were a girl. FML

#7523992
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28049) - you deserved it (7711)

On 01/23/2010 at 4:44pm - health - by fatty (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML

#7451202
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20590) - you deserved it (4525)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by wasntworththedrive (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sent my boss a link to a website I thought would answer a simple question she'd asked. Turns out, yes, the site did answer her question, but it also had some very suggestive ads on it. Apparently I'm the only person in the office who uses adblock. FML

#7437531
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25798) - you deserved it (2689)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML

#7351489
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22554) - you deserved it (7996)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:25am - love - by beriles (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was the only cash register open at the local supermarket. I had to sell condoms and chocolate frosting to my ex. FML

#7306098
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27256) - you deserved it (2647)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Narehs (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

#7198601
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24943) - you deserved it (4330)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:44pm - work - by Mic (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML

#7176423
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27892) - you deserved it (7290)

On 01/06/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Nox (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I noticed white stuff in my colored clothes as I transferred them from the washer to the dryer. That's when I realized that the white stuff is my paycheck which I had put in my pants earlier. FML

#7122890
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26582) - you deserved it (13893)

On 01/03/2010 at 8:18am - money - by broke_kid - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. In a moment of insanity, I threw the receipt at the cashier and yelled "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML

#7093853
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4431) - you deserved it (52628)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by TacoFail (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the police called and told me that they had Alex in custody. Apparently, she had public sex with another woman and wants me to come bail her out. Alex is my mom. FML

#7014156
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28017) - you deserved it (2416)

On 12/29/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by runescapeftw (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to take a nap while listening to my iPod, on the lowest volume possible. My girlfriend woke me up by turning the volume all the way up. I still can't hear out of both ears. FML

#6995956
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27824) - you deserved it (4944)

On 12/28/2009 at 4:42pm - misc - by SpaceAstronaut (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to wrap presents for a cat. FML

#6910234
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23716) - you deserved it (7114)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I decided to stay in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML

#6896062
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9090) - you deserved it (32850)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by ApolloandDixie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: