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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML

#6315427
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9698) - you deserved it (33117)

On 11/15/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I wasn't feeling too well. I decided to bring my laptop with me to the bathroom, because I figured I would be in there for a while. Things were going great, until I felt a burp coming. Next thing I know, my computer is covered with puke. FML

#6311289
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9891) - you deserved it (34258)

On 11/15/2009 at 10:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML

#6143431
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26017) - you deserved it (9797)

On 11/03/2009 at 10:17pm - love - by tbanana95 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while I was driving out of the student parking lot I saw people laughing. Then the old security lady yelled for me to stop. She told me my books were on the top of my car but one had already fallen off. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw all of my school papers flying everywhere. FML

#6136061
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13697) - you deserved it (26946)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years old. I'm 25. FML

#5966282
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33830) - you deserved it (11762)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by lloydLO (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my son's teacher told me that I should take my son to the doctor, because he has been complaining of bad headaches. They ran some tests, and then removed a peanut that's apparently been lodged in his nose for months. FML

#5957039
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30796) - you deserved it (4676)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by CarolinaD - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML

#5872159
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43194) - you deserved it (3327)

On 10/17/2009 at 10:25pm - love - by userrrrr - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I wrote the most beautiful college application essay ever, ten minutes before the online deadline. Instead of clicking "submit", I clicked the button next to it that said "return". The entire essay vanished into internet wasteland. FML

#5853326
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19745) - you deserved it (40857)

On 10/16/2009 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my fiancé told my mom that she screwed me up. I now have to write an apologetic e-mail to her for something that I agree with, in order for her to stop calling me crying. FML

#5847291
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20796) - you deserved it (3248)

On 10/15/2009 at 11:36pm - misc - by sighoutloud (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

#5839452
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33893) - you deserved it (4654)

On 10/15/2009 at 3:07am - love - by Achoo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I received a call from a collection agency. Since I had no clue, I was ready to file a police report for stolen identity. I then called my mom only to find out she has been opening new credit cards with my information for 3 years and not paying them. My credit is ruined and I'm only 21. FML

#5802914
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40021) - you deserved it (1871)

On 10/12/2009 at 7:32pm - money - by thafinest (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our first real date. I had saved all my money for the week for this. I took her to a beautiful restaurant uptown. She got hammered, hit me and screamed that I would never be as good as "Marshall." FML

#5758524
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38837) - you deserved it (2844)

On 10/10/2009 at 2:06pm - love - by pistonsunshine (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a surprise birthday party for my mom who turned 57. About an hour into the party, I look over at my mom and she was grinding all over my best friend while holding a bottle of tequila in her hand, and a pair of leopard skin panties hanging out of her pants. FML

#5640699
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36854) - you deserved it (3644)

On 10/04/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by KmartFart - United States (North Carolina)



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