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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54648) - you deserved it (6724)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML

#21045309
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38250) - you deserved it (4009)

On 01/30/2014 at 3:55pm - health - by ramble ramble (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my friend I would pay him to ask out the ugliest girl he knew. He asked out my girlfriend. FML

#21039900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24692) - you deserved it (48486)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I am sitting next to a guy who very clearly has lice crawling on his head. It's a six hour flight. FML

#21006067
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45092) - you deserved it (2777)

On 12/26/2013 at 11:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while delivering pizzas, someone ordered $19.41 in pizza and wings. After finally finding her appartment, she paid me in two sandwich bags full of pennies and nickels. I had to count them out before giving her the pizza. We aren't allowed to enter the residence, and it was 22 degrees. FML

#20976643
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47444) - you deserved it (2916)

On 12/01/2013 at 2:42am - work - by JudasThePriest (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML

#20966742
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49824) - you deserved it (3764)

On 11/22/2013 at 9:49am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML

#20964854
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45809) - you deserved it (2920)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:53pm - health - by ChestExploding (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

#20961862
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38056) - you deserved it (3326)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14am - kids - by kids next door - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I superglued the sole back into my shoe. Unfortunately, the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and my foot got superglued to my shoe. FML

#20956277
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39186) - you deserved it (11189)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by footstuck - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65022) - you deserved it (4825)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML

#20939700
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46806) - you deserved it (5322)

On 10/30/2013 at 10:59pm - misc - by Rinelric1998 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

#20933461
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42570) - you deserved it (6731)

On 10/25/2013 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by NOKHAN (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML

#20930198
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38811) - you deserved it (11522)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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