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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, I woke up to find a huge zit directly between my two eyebrows. My friends have started calling me "The North Star." FML

#21253662
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35019) - you deserved it (3250)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

#21251846
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42215) - you deserved it (8369)

On 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by candy man - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

#21222062
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54547) - you deserved it (6579)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

#21216504
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36869) - you deserved it (3131)

On 07/21/2014 at 5:15pm - work - by notpayedenoughforthisshit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I discovered that my best friend has been telling everyone at our workplace that I'm faking my pregnancy for attention. She was at every single one of my ultrasounds. FML

#21203309
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47795) - you deserved it (3611)

On 07/08/2014 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, we went to the wedding of one of my friends. As she was about to throw her bouquet, my boyfriend muttered that if I tried to catch it, we'd be through. FML

#21182017
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43697) - you deserved it (5261)

On 06/20/2014 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was disciplined by my boss for "not smiling enough." I'm a dishwasher. FML

#21165697
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41260) - you deserved it (4498)

On 06/07/2014 at 1:15am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not to grope me. He responded by throwing his bedpan at me. It was full. FML

#21130965
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43242) - you deserved it (3671)

On 05/04/2014 at 10:58pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to the self-checkout line at Walmart. When I tried to pay, the cash wouldn't go in, so I stood there trying to cram money into the thing that's supposed to take your money. What I didn't realize was that there was a sign up top that said: "No Cash. Cards Only." FML

#21070121
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16752) - you deserved it (38397)

On 02/24/2014 at 4:36am - misc - by I hate Walmart???? - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I've been forced to start packing to go on a vacation with my parents, because they say I've been studying too hard and need a break. I've hardly studied at all and was planning on making up for it all in the time I had left before finals. I'm screwed. FML

#21069416
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21224) - you deserved it (37991)

On 02/23/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I worked up the courage to sing at an open mic night. I lost my cool halfway through because all I could hear was laughter. FML

#21063777
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38950) - you deserved it (4936)

On 02/17/2014 at 9:13pm - misc - by Sarri (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54777) - you deserved it (6737)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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