Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36163) - you deserved it (8839)
On 06/29/2009 at 10:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, it's my birthday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from my wife. Awesome right? It's the same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay. That jerk was my wife, using my credit card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48098) - you deserved it (6257)
On 06/26/2009 at 5:51am - money - by xero_art (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, a real estate agent showed my house to some buyers. I found out when I exited the shower, fully nude, to them in the hallway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33875) - you deserved it (3557)
On 06/17/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by visn (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was reading a book lying in my bed. I looked outside my window not to see the beautiful weather, but to see my creepy 70 year old neighbor staring at me with giant binaculars, then winks at me. I babysit his grandchildren this weekend, at his house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33057) - you deserved it (1464)
On 06/17/2009 at 12:56am - misc - by Siehidbkdnd (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I reached into my fridge to grab a strawberry soda. I noticed the can had started to leak from the top so I slurped up the spilt red liquid on the top of the can. I realized it wasn't soda, but blood from a defrosting steak on the shelf above it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43266) - you deserved it (18547)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by kjmsit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13344) - you deserved it (37166)
On 06/14/2009 at 11:37pm - misc - by thelarkscaw (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50690) - you deserved it (2065)
On 06/14/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by bitches. (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I got my drivers license suspended until I am 18 for driving without a license. Where was I driving to? My last day of Drivers Ed. The high school where I take Drivers Ed. classes at is across the street from my house. I gave up 3 years of driving to drive 100 feet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20765) - you deserved it (84600)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by studentdriver828 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was helping a couple come up with a name for the baby they just had. I suggested "Joshua" thinking that it was an okay name. All sudden, the room got quiet. Turns out I had forgotten that Joshua was the name of their 3 year old son who had died a couple months before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27144) - you deserved it (61982)
On 06/11/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by 8reth72 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62394) - you deserved it (3688)
On 06/10/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Sylvania - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my friend was complaining about how fat she was. To make her feel better I said, "Psh, you're not fat! In fact we're about the same weight!" She looked at me for a second, then burst into tears sobbing, "I'm fat! I'm fat!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (48150) - you deserved it (7499)
On 06/06/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by fatty - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24596) - you deserved it (48788)
On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54648) - you deserved it (7347)
On 05/31/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Heather (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Friday 24 May 2013
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