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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML

#6474264
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22315) - you deserved it (3500)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by fml...really (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw an old man who needed help crossing the street. I went over to him and helped him across the street. When he thanked me, I said, "No problem, sir." They responded by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman. FML

#6467365
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20683) - you deserved it (6417)

On 11/26/2009 at 7:26pm - misc - by anniecook (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70028) - you deserved it (11903)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML

#6315427
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9609) - you deserved it (32919)

On 11/15/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I wasn't feeling too well. I decided to bring my laptop with me to the bathroom, because I figured I would be in there for a while. Things were going great, until I felt a burp coming. Next thing I know, my computer is covered with puke. FML

#6311289
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9600) - you deserved it (33575)

On 11/15/2009 at 10:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML

#6143431
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25323) - you deserved it (9681)

On 11/03/2009 at 10:17pm - love - by tbanana95 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while I was driving out of the student parking lot I saw people laughing. Then the old security lady yelled for me to stop. She told me my books were on the top of my car but one had already fallen off. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw all of my school papers flying everywhere. FML

#6136061
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13580) - you deserved it (26776)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years old. I'm 25. FML

#5966282
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33672) - you deserved it (11727)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by lloydLO (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my son's teacher told me that I should take my son to the doctor, because he has been complaining of bad headaches. They ran some tests, and then removed a peanut that's apparently been lodged in his nose for months. FML

#5957039
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29992) - you deserved it (4607)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by CarolinaD - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML

#5872159
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42210) - you deserved it (3250)

On 10/17/2009 at 10:25pm - love - by userrrrr - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I wrote the most beautiful college application essay ever, ten minutes before the online deadline. Instead of clicking "submit", I clicked the button next to it that said "return". The entire essay vanished into internet wasteland. FML

#5853326
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19660) - you deserved it (40696)

On 10/16/2009 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my fiancé told my mom that she screwed me up. I now have to write an apologetic e-mail to her for something that I agree with, in order for her to stop calling me crying. FML

#5847291
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20656) - you deserved it (3233)

On 10/15/2009 at 11:36pm - misc - by sighoutloud (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

#5839452
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32767) - you deserved it (4537)

On 10/15/2009 at 3:07am - love - by Achoo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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