FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, while I was at work, a co-worker watched while some kid stole the radio out of my car. FML

by cocokiss410 / 07/28/2011 at 12:34am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I was going to a talent show. On the way there, my car broke down, I lost my keys and managed to slam my hand in a window. I got there and waited in the theater for an hour before a janitor came by and said, "Show is tomorrow, lady." FML

by lizzie / 07/27/2011 at 9:30am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven mitt was blocking it. An oven mitt filled with tin-foil wrapped electronics. My Mom believes Internet hackers can get into her digital camera and prepaid cell phone, and apparently tin-foil will prevent that. FML

by BelleCharmante / 07/14/2011 at 12:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Geek

Today, marks the seventh day of having my nose pierced. I'd done everything I was supposed to do, even sleeping with a band-aid over it. This morning, I woke up to my piercing being ripped out by my pillow, and the band-aid nowhere in sight. FML

by meggiemouse / 07/09/2011 at 2:00pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I realized I have no life after I created a fake Facebook account, posted an insulting message on my wall, and then engaged in a vicious argument with it, just so I could impress my friends. FML

by jen / 07/08/2011 at 10:57am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

by Danielle / 06/06/2011 at 3:00pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML

by megomania / 05/02/2011 at 9:51am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

by Laci / 04/30/2011 at 1:50pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2011 at 2:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, a tornado watch has been instituted in my town. At this moment, I have violent diarrhea, and my toilet sits right in front of a window. FML

by cnamobi / 04/28/2011 at 12:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I got a letter from my mother-in-law stating that demons made her spread rumors about me all over my hometown before my wedding. FML

by doomed / 04/20/2011 at 10:45pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss friend-requested me on Facebook. My profile picture is of me licking his employee of the month picture for a dare. FML

by asdfjkl / 04/15/2011 at 3:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, my roommate told me there is some restricted number that keeps calling and waking her up at odd hours of the night. She then says she's getting the police involved to find out who it is because she feels "harassed". I'm the restricted caller calling to wake her up from snoring so loud. FML

by wowimscrewed / 04/14/2011 at 12:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous