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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

#7198601
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22123) - you deserved it (4003)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:44pm - work - by Mic (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML

#7176423
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24952) - you deserved it (6889)

On 01/06/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Nox (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I noticed white stuff in my colored clothes as I transferred them from the washer to the dryer. That's when I realized that the white stuff is my paycheck which I had put in my pants earlier. FML

#7122890
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23776) - you deserved it (12720)

On 01/03/2010 at 8:18am - money - by broke_kid - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. In a moment of insanity, I threw the receipt at the cashier and yelled "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML

#7093853
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4354) - you deserved it (52148)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by TacoFail (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the police called and told me that they had Alex in custody. Apparently, she had public sex with another woman and wants me to come bail her out. Alex is my mom. FML

#7014156
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25137) - you deserved it (2177)

On 12/29/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by runescapeftw (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to take a nap while listening to my iPod, on the lowest volume possible. My girlfriend woke me up by turning the volume all the way up. I still can't hear out of both ears. FML

#6995956
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25182) - you deserved it (4671)

On 12/28/2009 at 4:42pm - misc - by SpaceAstronaut (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to wrap presents for a cat. FML

#6910234
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20957) - you deserved it (6640)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I decided to stay in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML

#6896062
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7914) - you deserved it (30204)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by ApolloandDixie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my best friend decided to admit to me that he and my girlfriend have been cheating behind my back for the past two months. The reason he finally admitted it? Because she is now cheating on him with another one of our friends. FML

#6812194
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31518) - you deserved it (2306)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML

#6791694
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26042) - you deserved it (2118)

On 12/17/2009 at 10:35am - intimacy - by turriblebday (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was having lunch with my mom before an important job interview. She commented than my lips looked dry and crackly and gave me her chapstick with aloe to put on. Apparently I'm allergic to aloe and my lips got so swollen I could hardly talk. It was too late to reschedule the interview. FML

#6719258
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23577) - you deserved it (2029)

On 12/12/2009 at 4:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, was my birthday. I have been heavily hinting that I want an iPhone. I opened my present from my parents and found an iPhone box. Ecstatic, I quickly opened it. Apparently, my parents thought it would be funny to wrap my present, a $10 iTunes gift card, in the box my Dad's iPhone came in. FML

#6695365
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30577) - you deserved it (7457)

On 12/10/2009 at 3:38pm - money - by muggle68 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my lawyer threatened to sue me because I can't afford his bill, which he sent to me after getting me out of a lawsuit. FML

#6569414
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10382) - you deserved it (31776)

On 12/02/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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