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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML

#7573636
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28121) - you deserved it (2157)

On 01/25/2010 at 7:15pm - kids - by KillahCam (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked my friend who is a fashion major why she didn't want to use me as a model for her senior project. She said my boobs were too big. I doubt it'd have been an issue if I were a girl. FML

#7523992
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25181) - you deserved it (7269)

On 01/23/2010 at 4:44pm - health - by fatty (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML

#7451202
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18034) - you deserved it (4122)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by wasntworththedrive (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sent my boss a link to a website I thought would answer a simple question she'd asked. Turns out, yes, the site did answer her question, but it also had some very suggestive ads on it. Apparently I'm the only person in the office who uses adblock. FML

#7437531
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23535) - you deserved it (2491)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML

#7351489
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19825) - you deserved it (7596)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:25am - love - by beriles (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was the only cash register open at the local supermarket. I had to sell condoms and chocolate frosting to my ex. FML

#7306098
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24229) - you deserved it (2384)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Narehs (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

#7198601
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22174) - you deserved it (4012)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:44pm - work - by Mic (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML

#7176423
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25022) - you deserved it (6892)

On 01/06/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Nox (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I noticed white stuff in my colored clothes as I transferred them from the washer to the dryer. That's when I realized that the white stuff is my paycheck which I had put in my pants earlier. FML

#7122890
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23842) - you deserved it (12733)

On 01/03/2010 at 8:18am - money - by broke_kid - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. In a moment of insanity, I threw the receipt at the cashier and yelled "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML

#7093853
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4369) - you deserved it (52209)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by TacoFail (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the police called and told me that they had Alex in custody. Apparently, she had public sex with another woman and wants me to come bail her out. Alex is my mom. FML

#7014156
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25213) - you deserved it (2179)

On 12/29/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by runescapeftw (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to take a nap while listening to my iPod, on the lowest volume possible. My girlfriend woke me up by turning the volume all the way up. I still can't hear out of both ears. FML

#6995956
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25791) - you deserved it (4729)

On 12/28/2009 at 4:42pm - misc - by SpaceAstronaut (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to wrap presents for a cat. FML

#6910234
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21508) - you deserved it (6750)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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