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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, I woke up to my English bulldog standing over me, getting ready to pee. I didn't move in time. FML

#12225863
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28355) - you deserved it (4982)

On 07/31/2010 at 12:28pm - misc - by Monkey (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I bought my girlfriend an expensive chihuahua puppy because she was never allowed to have one as a kid. She was so excited and happy so she leaned in to give it a kiss. It bit her in the face, she had to get stitches, and they put the $500 dog to sleep. FML

#12192420
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37279) - you deserved it (7268)

On 07/29/2010 at 7:13pm - money - by Joseph (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I learned that there's nothing quite like coming downstairs in a t-shirt and panties, only to discover your fiancé has a bunch of his friends over. FML

Today, my girlfriend won't have sex with me. Why? Because my mii knocked out her mii in Wii boxing. It wouldn't be as bad if she wasn't in one player mode. FML

#11907332
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32222) - you deserved it (4362)

On 07/15/2010 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by knock_out (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

#11806163
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33527) - you deserved it (4313)

On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I discovered my former boss from the job I quit 3 months is now my boss at my new job. He was the reason I quit my old job. FML

#11602306
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43109) - you deserved it (2914)

On 07/02/2010 at 12:21am - work - by lmao4eva93 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend of over 2 years said he wants to get married before he leaves for basic training. Not because he loves me, but because he'll get paid more if he's married. This is the only time he's been excited about marriage. FML

#11383456
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36815) - you deserved it (4504)

On 06/22/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boss told me I was fired 3 weeks ago because there was no money to pay me, meaning that I worked the last three weeks for free. FML

#11198963
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40519) - you deserved it (2650)

On 06/14/2010 at 7:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's mom's house for the first time. They had a cook-out so I got to meet his whole entire family. I went into the kitchen to find a huge picture of his ex-girlfriend on his mom's fridge. FML

#11163519
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35752) - you deserved it (3210)

On 06/13/2010 at 3:48am - love - by Yup (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad decided that my diploma makes a good pen-tester. FML

#11111501
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47141) - you deserved it (3473)

On 06/10/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by dominator152 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my kitchen sink was clogged. I poured a bottle of Drano down and came back two hours later. The clog is still there, but the glue on the pipe is not and now there is Drano-water all over the floor, staining and dissolving everything in my kitchen. FML

#10615901
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23597) - you deserved it (6613)

On 05/18/2010 at 9:23pm - misc - by MisterT (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I came home after ten hours at work to find my unemployed wife and 4 kids sprawled out watching TV waiting for me to get home and cook for them. I had to wash all the dishes first because they didn't feel like getting up or helping. FML

#10499435
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38997) - you deserved it (8282)

On 05/13/2010 at 12:07am - work - by justkillm3 - United States (North Carolina)



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