FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, I have an ear infection, and everything I hear echoes inside my head. I'm an orchestra teacher, and we have our first concert next week. FML

by dolceconfuoco / 10/20/2011 at 12:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

by myfamilyisodd / 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I found out that my crush didn't make up a fake girlfriend to get me jealous; he made her up as a way to tell me to back off. FML

by Cassidy / 10/08/2011 at 12:01pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I went to the DMV for my second attempt to get my license. I did everything perfectly, stayed at the speed limit, did my three-point turn flawlessly, and parked nicely. The lady failed me because I wasn't using the stick shift right. My car doesn't have a stick shift. FML

by dmvfail / 09/14/2011 at 8:13pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, the really cute guy who asked for my number last night texted me. He wanted to know if he could get my friend's number, because he'd been too shy to ask her directly. FML

by chicagobulls102 / 09/10/2011 at 2:19pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

by Annie / 08/30/2011 at 11:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that instead of being stationed in Afghanistan, my husband of 9 years has been "stationed" at his other girlfriend's house. FML

by AlwaysGottaFML / 08/20/2011 at 3:26am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2011 at 3:32pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I took my 8 month-old to the Urgent Care due to extreme constipation. I spent $25 for my son to poop on me the second the doctor had me remove his diaper. FML

by CrappyLuck / 08/03/2011 at 10:43pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, my ex-boyfriend called to tell me that he had always made a point to eat some form of meat before making out with me. He'd known I was a vegetarian since the day we met. FML

by HaHa Not Funny / 08/02/2011 at 12:13am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, after being recently laid off at work due to "cutbacks", I went job searching around town. During my drive, I cruised past my old workplace and saw a "now hiring" sign in their window. FML

by jellymoon14 / 07/28/2011 at 6:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work