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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, I went jet skiing with my girlfriend of four years. I intended to propose to her. The $2000 ring fell out of my pocket and into the lake. I have no idea where it is. FML

#13317207
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22111) - you deserved it (46928)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was changing in the back seat of my new truck when it started to roll backwards. In my haste to reach the brake, I hit my head and fell face first into the steering wheel. I then realized that it wasn't rolling. The car next to me was just pulling out. FML

#13223022
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10250) - you deserved it (25544)

On 09/27/2010 at 3:22pm - misc - by milhouse86 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got back from a three week trip in the Alaska back-country. I survived climbing fatally steep mountains, white water rafting in a freezing glacier river, and a near bear attack. Despite all that, a badly thrown frisbee managed to split my eyebrow in half. FML

#13105771
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22657) - you deserved it (3811)

On 09/18/2010 at 10:54pm - misc - by Gabby125 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML

#13045440
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24831) - you deserved it (6148)

On 09/14/2010 at 3:57am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

#13027296
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37595) - you deserved it (5617)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML

#12978486
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28119) - you deserved it (12750)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while I was running in a cross country meet, a bug flew into my right eye. Then, a bug flew into my left eye. Not wanting to lose a neck-and-neck sprint, I tried to run blind. I hit a pole. FML

#12906050
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27016) - you deserved it (8018)

On 09/04/2010 at 7:43pm - misc - by ow (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to watch a movie I hadn't seen before to bring my spirits up, as I've been feeling down lately. How did the movie end? Everybody died. FML

#12344215
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25827) - you deserved it (7692)

On 08/06/2010 at 1:12am - misc - by Shouldaknown (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to my English bulldog standing over me, getting ready to pee. I didn't move in time. FML

#12225863
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28201) - you deserved it (4970)

On 07/31/2010 at 12:28pm - misc - by Monkey (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I bought my girlfriend an expensive chihuahua puppy because she was never allowed to have one as a kid. She was so excited and happy so she leaned in to give it a kiss. It bit her in the face, she had to get stitches, and they put the $500 dog to sleep. FML

#12192420
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35648) - you deserved it (7007)

On 07/29/2010 at 7:13pm - money - by Joseph (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I learned that there's nothing quite like coming downstairs in a t-shirt and panties, only to discover your fiancé has a bunch of his friends over. FML

Today, my girlfriend won't have sex with me. Why? Because my mii knocked out her mii in Wii boxing. It wouldn't be as bad if she wasn't in one player mode. FML

#11907332
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32027) - you deserved it (4351)

On 07/15/2010 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by knock_out (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

#11806163
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33310) - you deserved it (4304)

On 07/11/2010 at 4:05am - intimacy - by awkwardsituation - United States (North Carolina)



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