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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, in the middle of class, I sneezed out the biggest, wettest booger I have ever seen in my life. I'd used the inside of my elbow to cover my nose, but I neglected to notice that my hair had fallen over my shoulder. I couldn't get it all out of my hair and I don't think any believed me when I said it was hair gel. FML

#13355611
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20819) - you deserved it (4977)

On 10/07/2010 at 3:28pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was kicked out of class for having a coughing fit. Yesterday, I was kicked out of class for sleeping, a side effect of my cough suppressant. Three absents from this class and I automatically fail. FML

Today, my varsity swim team got second place in the State meet. My coach said I could bring the trophy home for the weekend. On the way home, I accidentally sat on it and broke it, cutting my butt. FML

#13319257
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8661) - you deserved it (30072)

On 10/04/2010 at 6:11pm - misc - by kat101 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went jet skiing with my girlfriend of four years. I intended to propose to her. The $2000 ring fell out of my pocket and into the lake. I have no idea where it is. FML

#13317207
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19514) - you deserved it (42811)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was changing in the back seat of my new truck when it started to roll backwards. In my haste to reach the brake, I hit my head and fell face first into the steering wheel. I then realized that it wasn't rolling. The car next to me was just pulling out. FML

#13223022
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9796) - you deserved it (24584)

On 09/27/2010 at 3:22pm - misc - by milhouse86 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got back from a three week trip in the Alaska back-country. I survived climbing fatally steep mountains, white water rafting in a freezing glacier river, and a near bear attack. Despite all that, a badly thrown frisbee managed to split my eyebrow in half. FML

#13105771
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19485) - you deserved it (3513)

On 09/18/2010 at 10:54pm - misc - by Gabby125 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML

#13045440
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22781) - you deserved it (5870)

On 09/14/2010 at 3:57am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

#13027296
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35211) - you deserved it (5396)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML

#12978486
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24476) - you deserved it (11362)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while I was running in a cross country meet, a bug flew into my right eye. Then, a bug flew into my left eye. Not wanting to lose a neck-and-neck sprint, I tried to run blind. I hit a pole. FML

#12906050
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24711) - you deserved it (7662)

On 09/04/2010 at 7:43pm - misc - by ow (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to watch a movie I hadn't seen before to bring my spirits up, as I've been feeling down lately. How did the movie end? Everybody died. FML

#12344215
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20903) - you deserved it (5995)

On 08/06/2010 at 1:12am - misc - by Shouldaknown (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to my English bulldog standing over me, getting ready to pee. I didn't move in time. FML

#12225863
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23390) - you deserved it (3823)

On 07/31/2010 at 12:28pm - misc - by Monkey (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I bought my girlfriend an expensive chihuahua puppy because she was never allowed to have one as a kid. She was so excited and happy so she leaned in to give it a kiss. It bit her in the face, she had to get stitches, and they put the $500 dog to sleep. FML

#12192420
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29819) - you deserved it (5407)

On 07/29/2010 at 7:13pm - money - by Joseph (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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