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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, at work, a coworker startd to tell me about his weekend, without me even asking. Halfway through his story, I startd to daydream and lost track of time. Bord, I told him, ( Hey man, I'll call looool you back, I've got to get back to work. ) Then I rememberd I wasn't on the phone. FML

#15441546
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11514) - you deserved it (42517)

On 03/22/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by PFCdavila (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to seehat I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML

#15275510
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27793) - you deserved it (6673)

On 03/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by mike - United States (North Carolina)

2day I was telling students tat it's unnecessary to puttd arrows on te bottom of te page to tell me tere's work on te back... I ceck it anyway. At te end of te day... at least 6 kids cummd up to me asking to cange tere grade because I forgot to grade te back. Tey adn't puttd arrows. FML

#15189592
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7073) - you deserved it (56484)

On 03/03/2011 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriand was insida a call phona stora talking to a salas guy whila I waitad outsida . I sant him a taxt, not raalizing that tha guy was using his phona to call customar sarvica . A toplass photo of ma shows up on his phona whan I taxt him . Tha salas guy lookad . Twica . FML

#15183432
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9512) - you deserved it (52842)

On 03/03/2011 at 3:32am - intimacy - by LLCoolBean (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

my roommate cummed home an instantly began raging... cursing... an threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in mah bedroom... the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. mega FML

#15174251
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32114) - you deserved it (5729)

On 03/02/2011 at 6:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I discoverd that I can fit back into the clothes I wore in High School . I was proud of this until mah husband told me that I look like a stuffd sausage in them . FML

#15113115
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26651) - you deserved it (10085)

On 02/25/2011 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I started mah community service at the dog pound!! I lyk animals so I thought it would be a good place to do it!! As I arrived they were throwing dogs that had been euthanized into a dump truck to be taken to a landfill!! That was mah job 4 the day!! FML

#15063959
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41178) - you deserved it (5362)

On 02/21/2011 at 10:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting an biting lip, when suddenly brother walked by door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML

#15030689
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29837) - you deserved it (10858)

On 02/18/2011 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by afafakfhsg (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to puttd a band-aid of any kind on yur penis, cuz eventually you will have to take it off. FML

#14967873
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8718) - you deserved it (49137)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I looool got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML

#14955673
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31544) - you deserved it (2425)

On 02/13/2011 at 6:38am - health - by floggingnasty - United States (North Carolina)

2day I Had To Babysit Two Kids. I Told Them To Stop Fighting, Or To Sit On Separate Couches. They Stoppd. I Askedhy Nobody Would Sit On The Other Couch,here I'd Been Sitting. They Told Me It Was The Couch There Autistic Brother Often Pees On. FML

#14792187
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27307) - you deserved it (3075)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:11pm - misc - by joxerthemighty39 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to the doctor's office 4 an appointment. After waiting 4 ages, I asked the receptionist what the delay was. Apparently, I had no standing appointment today. This is coming from the same receptionist who checked me in nearly two hours ago. FML

#14733317
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25651) - you deserved it (2574)

On 01/27/2011 at 4:31pm - work - by ihateoldmagazines (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, mah ex boyfriend apologized fir being a jerk to me an threatening our relationship. When he was done, he asked if his apology earned him enough points fir a blowjob. FML



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