Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, my boss and I were stacking boxes in the back room of the store. One of the boxes fell and hit me in the face, causing me to lose my glasses. My boss stepped on my glasses as she ran to check the box for broken merchandise, which I then had to pay for. FML

#14453942
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25200) - you deserved it (2165)

On 01/03/2011 at 7:56pm - work - by cain001 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized I want school to start again so that I won't be sitting alone in my room all day anymore. FML

#14389923
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24704) - you deserved it (6619)

On 12/30/2010 at 12:48am - misc - by loneliness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to choose between living with my over protective dad who only uses me for free childcare, or my pot smoking mom who always needs to borrow money. FML

#14362335
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35779) - you deserved it (2584)

On 12/27/2010 at 10:25pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my brother asked if he could borrow my razor, since he recently hit puberty and wanted to have a shave. I decided to be nice and let him. When he returned it half an hour later, I couldn't help but notice his facial hair was untouched. FML

#14329924
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35737) - you deserved it (7374)

On 12/25/2010 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that being rushed unconscious to the hospital and missing work qualifies you for termination if you don't call in, even if you have a note from the ER doctor. FML

#14246241
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29234) - you deserved it (2009)

On 12/18/2010 at 10:10am - work - by pissedexworker (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML

#14242273
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37087) - you deserved it (6885)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my best friend lost her virginity in the backseat of a car. I was sitting in the front. FML

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

#14208916
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37246) - you deserved it (3801)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend of almost two years proposed to me. Everything was perfect. The ring was beautiful. And seconds after I said yes he went to play his new xbox game. FML

#14174315
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30840) - you deserved it (7218)

On 12/12/2010 at 1:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend of two years called me on Skype while he was taking a crap. Think it's a sign that maybe we've been dating for too long. FML

#14091257
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23605) - you deserved it (5102)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:35am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML

#14087170
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35978) - you deserved it (5329)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up, and he came by to get his things while I was at work. When I got home I saw that the only thing he had taken was my cat. I only dated him for 5 months, I've had that cat for 14 years. FML

#14078710
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33618) - you deserved it (3280)

On 12/04/2010 at 12:20am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML

#14022064
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26349) - you deserved it (3372)

On 11/29/2010 at 9:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: