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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, my best friend lost her virginity in the backseat of a car. I was sitting in the front. FML

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

#14208916
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37167) - you deserved it (3794)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend of almost two years proposed to me. Everything was perfect. The ring was beautiful. And seconds after I said yes he went to play his new xbox game. FML

#14174315
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30785) - you deserved it (7208)

On 12/12/2010 at 1:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend of two years called me on Skype while he was taking a crap. Think it's a sign that maybe we've been dating for too long. FML

#14091257
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23135) - you deserved it (5049)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:35am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML

#14087170
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35462) - you deserved it (5275)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up, and he came by to get his things while I was at work. When I got home I saw that the only thing he had taken was my cat. I only dated him for 5 months, I've had that cat for 14 years. FML

#14078710
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33244) - you deserved it (3247)

On 12/04/2010 at 12:20am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents found several drawings of a dinosaur girl in various bondage equipment posing seductively in my purse. The drawings weren't mine, nor do I have any idea where they came from, but my parents now think I'm a freak. FML

#14022064
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26273) - you deserved it (3365)

On 11/29/2010 at 9:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend prays before and after sex, because he thinks he'll keep his abstinence by doing so. FML

#14014321
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27559) - you deserved it (4339)

On 11/28/2010 at 6:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over to visit. Being nice, I let him walk down the stairs first, following after him. I still managed to reach the bottom before he did; after taking one step, I lost my footing and fell all the way down, scraping the skin off my arms and legs, and bruising my butt. FML

#14011606
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19051) - you deserved it (4215)

On 11/28/2010 at 12:17pm - misc - by brelni - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my house is suffering from an infestation of these tiny black beetles. After brushing my teeth tonight, I was rinsing out my toothbrush when I found that one of the beetles had curled up to die between the bristles. FML

#13883549
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31457) - you deserved it (3544)

On 11/18/2010 at 12:04am - health - by twice-a-day (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML

#13855888
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27552) - you deserved it (3550)

On 11/15/2010 at 7:19pm - health - by grlzze444 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me that I appear to have gained some weight. After realizing that it made me feel depressed, he tried to make me feel better by making love to me. I decided to go with it. While doing so, he paused and said "I'm sorry baby, but your weight is too much pressure for my back." FML

#13798664
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28242) - you deserved it (7639)

On 11/11/2010 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was called 15 times by a "good redneck boy" that my Mom is trying to set me up with. He has called me at least 5 times a day for the past week. My Mom is still encouraging him to call. I had to unplug the phone because I feel stalked in my own dorm. FML

#13776562
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23219) - you deserved it (2390)

On 11/09/2010 at 11:00am - misc - by snitcheyes (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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