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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML

#15030689
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29390) - you deserved it (10744)

On 02/18/2011 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by afafakfhsg (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML

#14967873
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8108) - you deserved it (47143)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML

#14955673
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31352) - you deserved it (2412)

On 02/13/2011 at 6:38am - health - by floggingnasty - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to babysit two kids. I told them to stop fighting, or to sit on separate couches. They stopped. I asked why nobody would sit on the other couch, where I'd been sitting. They told me it was the couch their autistic brother often pees on. FML

#14792187
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26624) - you deserved it (3022)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:11pm - misc - by joxerthemighty39 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to the doctor's office for an appointment. After waiting for ages, I asked the receptionist what the delay was. Apparently, I had no standing appointment today. This is coming from the same receptionist who checked me in nearly two hours ago. FML

#14733317
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23964) - you deserved it (2437)

On 01/27/2011 at 4:31pm - work - by ihateoldmagazines (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my ex boyfriend apologized for being a jerk to me and threatening our relationship. When he was done, he asked if his apology earned him enough points for a blowjob. FML

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33875) - you deserved it (7628)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML

#14587697
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31997) - you deserved it (3448)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML

#14549373
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37695) - you deserved it (3241)

On 01/11/2011 at 11:04pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to email my Dad a picture of someone we knew that I'd found on the Internet. He called me later to inform me that I had actually sent him a picture of myself in a naughty school girl outfit that I'd taken for my husband. My mom was laughing her ass off. FML

#14534299
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11991) - you deserved it (38871)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boss and I were stacking boxes in the back room of the store. One of the boxes fell and hit me in the face, causing me to lose my glasses. My boss stepped on my glasses as she ran to check the box for broken merchandise, which I then had to pay for. FML

#14453942
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24591) - you deserved it (2115)

On 01/03/2011 at 7:56pm - work - by cain001 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized I want school to start again so that I won't be sitting alone in my room all day anymore. FML

#14389923
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24666) - you deserved it (6615)

On 12/30/2010 at 12:48am - misc - by loneliness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to choose between living with my over protective dad who only uses me for free childcare, or my pot smoking mom who always needs to borrow money. FML

#14362335
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35726) - you deserved it (2581)

On 12/27/2010 at 10:25pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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