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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, my boss friend requested me on Facebook. My profile picture is of me licking his employee of the month picture for a dare. FML

#15796408
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9905) - you deserved it (46722)

On 04/15/2011 at 3:51pm - work - by asdfjkl (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my roommate told me there is some restricted number that keeps calling and waking her up at odd hours of the night. She then says she's getting the police involved to find out who it is because she feels "harassed". I'm the restricted caller calling to wake her up from snoring so loud. FML

#15779610
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14953) - you deserved it (28240)

On 04/14/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by wowimscrewed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized I've been sinking into a deep depression, ignoring all my friends, and don't know what to do with my life anymore. This is all because I gave up Facebook for lent. FML

#15515343
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15470) - you deserved it (51189)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work, a coworker started to tell me about his weekend, without me even asking. Halfway through his story, I started to daydream and lost track of time. Bored, I told him, "Hey man, I'll call you back, I've got to get back to work." Then I remembered I wasn't on the phone. FML

#15441546
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10990) - you deserved it (41482)

On 03/22/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by PFCdavila (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML

#15275510
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26123) - you deserved it (6501)

On 03/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by mike - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was telling my students that it's unnecessary to put arrows on the bottom of the page to tell me there's work on the back, I check it anyway. At the end of the day, at least 6 kids came up to me asking to change their grade because I forgot to grade the back. They hadn't put arrows. FML

#15189592
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7016) - you deserved it (56168)

On 03/03/2011 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend was inside a cell phone store talking to a sales guy while I waited outside. I sent him a text, not realizing that the guy was using his phone to call customer service. A topless photo of me shows up on his phone when I text him. The sales guy looked. Twice. FML

#15183432
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9446) - you deserved it (52559)

On 03/03/2011 at 3:32am - intimacy - by LLCoolBean (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

#15174251
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31861) - you deserved it (5711)

On 03/02/2011 at 6:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I discovered that I can fit back into the clothes I wore in High School. I was proud of this until my husband told me that I look like a stuffed sausage in them. FML

#15113115
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25046) - you deserved it (9761)

On 02/25/2011 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I started my community service at the dog pound. I like animals so I thought it would be a good place to do it. As I arrived they were throwing dogs that had been euthanized into a dump truck to be taken to a landfill. That was my job for the day. FML

#15063959
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40911) - you deserved it (5341)

On 02/21/2011 at 10:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML

#15030689
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28974) - you deserved it (10617)

On 02/18/2011 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by afafakfhsg (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML

#14967873
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8098) - you deserved it (47120)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:31am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML

#14955673
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31331) - you deserved it (2412)

On 02/13/2011 at 6:38am - health - by floggingnasty - United States (North Carolina)



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