Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, I went to the DMV for my second attempt to get my license. I did everything perfectly, stayed at the speed limit, did my three-point turn flawlessly, and parked nicely. The lady failed me because I wasn't using the stick shift right. My car doesn't have a stick shift. FML

#17746591
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31010) - you deserved it (2571)

On 09/14/2011 at 8:13pm - misc - by dmvfail - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the really cute guy who asked for my number last night texted me. He wanted to know if he could get my friend's number, because he'd been too shy to ask her directly. FML

#17711612
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29418) - you deserved it (2382)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:19pm - love - by chicagobulls102 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

#17625753
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31480) - you deserved it (4707)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Annie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that instead of being stationed in Afghanistan, my husband of 9 years has been "stationed" at his other girlfriend's house. FML

#17526704
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60261) - you deserved it (3466)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:26am - love - by AlwaysGottaFML - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML

#17471195
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30478) - you deserved it (3568)

On 08/14/2011 at 3:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took my 8 month-old to the Urgent Care due to extreme constipation. I spent $25 for my son to poop on me the second the doctor had me remove his diaper. FML

#17360592
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24522) - you deserved it (3738)

On 08/03/2011 at 10:43pm - kids - by CrappyLuck - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my ex-boyfriend called to tell me that he had always made a point to eat some form of meat before making out with me. He'd known I was a vegetarian since the day we met. FML

#17338419
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28184) - you deserved it (8202)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:13am - love - by HaHa Not Funny (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after being recently laid off at work due to "cutbacks", I went job searching around town. During my drive, I cruised past my old workplace and saw a "now hiring" sign in their window. FML

#17289297
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33007) - you deserved it (3631)

On 07/28/2011 at 6:25pm - work - by jellymoon14 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while I was at work, a co-worker watched while some kid stole the radio out of my car. FML

#17282726
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26612) - you deserved it (2333)

On 07/28/2011 at 12:34am - work - by cocokiss410 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was going to a talent show. On the way there, my car broke down, I lost my keys and managed to slam my hand in a window. I got there and waited in the theater for an hour before a janitor came by and said, "Show is tomorrow, lady." FML

#17278352
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26406) - you deserved it (8589)

On 07/27/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by lizzie - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven mitt was blocking it. An oven mitt filled with tin-foil wrapped electronics. My Mom believes Internet hackers can get into her digital camera and prepaid cell phone, and apparently tin-foil will prevent that. FML

#17102276
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22919) - you deserved it (1911)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by BelleCharmante (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, marks the seventh day of having my nose pierced. I'd done everything I was supposed to do, even sleeping with a band-aid over it. This morning, I woke up to my piercing being ripped out by my pillow, and the band-aid nowhere in sight. FML

#17041171
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28704) - you deserved it (13010)

On 07/09/2011 at 2:00pm - misc - by meggiemouse - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized I have no life after I created a fake Facebook account, posted an insulting message on my wall, and then engaged in a vicious argument with it, just so I could impress my friends. FML

#17026908
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10261) - you deserved it (51876)

On 07/08/2011 at 10:57am - misc - by jen - United States (North Carolina)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: