Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5412) - you totally deserved it (17548)
On 11/15/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I wasn't feeling too well. I decided to bring my laptop with me to the bathroom, because I figured I would be in there for a while. Things were going great, until I felt a burp coming. Next thing I know, my computer is covered with puke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4757) - you totally deserved it (18061)
On 11/15/2009 at 10:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14111) - you totally deserved it (5865)
On 11/03/2009 at 10:17pm - love - by tbanana95 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while I was driving out of the student parking lot I saw people laughing. Then the old security lady yelled for me to stop. She told me my books were on the top of my car but one had already fallen off. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw all of my school papers flying everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8026) - you totally deserved it (15472)
On 11/03/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was woken up at 7:00am for a work emergency after a long night of partying. If the 15 missed phone calls didn't do it, the hose water that was sprayed through my window by my boss sure did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15642) - you totally deserved it (5568)
On 11/01/2009 at 8:48am - work - by bpongplayer (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend and I were fighting. I started crying and he went to wipe away my tears. Eventually, I noticed that he kept brushing over the same spot on my cheek, like he was trying to remove something. I had to tell him it was a zit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17404) - you totally deserved it (1988)
On 10/28/2009 at 2:38am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years old. I'm 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20589) - you totally deserved it (6890)
On 10/23/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by lloydLO (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my son's teacher tells me that I should take my son to the doctor because he has been complaining of bad headaches. They run some tests and after twenty minutes she tells me something is blocking his sinus. Out comes a peanut that's been lodged in his nose for months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18255) - you totally deserved it (2696)
On 10/23/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by CarolinaD - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27550) - you totally deserved it (1731)
On 10/17/2009 at 10:25pm - love - by userrrrr - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I wrote the most beautiful college application essay ever, ten minutes before the online deadline. Instead of clicking "submit", I clicked the button next to it that said "return". The entire essay vanished into internet wasteland. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11020) - you totally deserved it (25137)
On 10/16/2009 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my fiance told my mom that she screwed me up. I now have to write an apologetic e-mail to her for something that I agree with, in order for her to stop calling me crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12006) - you totally deserved it (1696)
On 10/15/2009 at 11:36pm - misc - by sighoutloud (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20417) - you totally deserved it (2496)
On 10/15/2009 at 3:07am - love - by Achoo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I received a call from a collection agency. Since I had no clue, I was ready to file a police report for stolen identity. I then called my mom only to find out she has been opening new credit cards with my information for 3 years and not paying them. My credit is ruined and I'm only 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23640) - you totally deserved it (630)
On 10/12/2009 at 7:32pm - money - by thafinest (man) - United States (North Carolina)
