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FMLs submitted from North Carolina

Today, at my minimum wage job, we received a half-way decomposed dog found in a lake. It was my job to tear open the bag and try to identify the breed and color. It would've been easier if the body wasn't crawling with maggots. FML

#21523219
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19467) - you deserved it (1483)

On 02/05/2016 at 10:24pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

#21523193
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18597) - you deserved it (1811)

On 02/05/2016 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML

#21523145
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18405) - you deserved it (2453)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by Alex - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I flipped out with happiness over the new Barbies. I want to buy one. I'm almost 26. FML

#21521595
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15983) - you deserved it (5899)

On 01/31/2016 at 10:27pm - misc - by barbieissocute (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my son became convinced that his father cheated and we put the fertilized egg inside me to cover the whole thing up. He won't stop calling me "host mother". FML

#21519206
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21644) - you deserved it (1816)

On 01/25/2016 at 9:09am - kids - by anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the guy I'm dating took me to a dinner party at a couple's house. Halfway through dinner, I realized they were having the dinner party for the sole purpose of introducing him to their recently single daughter. FML

#21514669
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24283) - you deserved it (1541)

On 01/13/2016 at 8:56am - love - by Angel (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw an elderly woman drop $20 while shopping. Trying to be a good samaritan, I picked it up and tried to hand it back to her. She accused me of stealing it and beat me with her purse. The manager had to fend her off me. FML

Today, I found out what it means to be the only single person in my group of friends. They had a New Year's party and didn't invite me because they didn't want me to "feel alone". FML

#21510072
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21063) - you deserved it (1510)

On 01/01/2016 at 3:35am - misc - by feelin a lil left out - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work, our boss's son came in to help. The whole time he was there he sat in the back on his phone not helping and whenever we asked him to do something, he had an attitude. The only time he voluntarily got up to help was when his dad came in to check on the restaurant. FML

#21509639
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20239) - you deserved it (1328)

On 12/31/2015 at 3:24am - work - by sickofit - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML

#21505784
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18914) - you deserved it (2879)

On 12/20/2015 at 8:26am - love - by mikmak - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had been stress-eating a lot of junk food during finals week at college. I was feeling worried about my figure, and lifted up my shirt to see myself in the mirror. My boyfriend, who I didn't know was watching, promptly said, "Whoa babe, it looks like the condom broke!" FML

#21502268
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22386) - you deserved it (2883)

On 12/10/2015 at 1:45pm - love - by pregnantapparently (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my grandmother insisted that Mexicans sacrifice humans every year as part of their Catholic religion. The Swaggart guy on TV said so, and apparently, he can't be wrong, ever. FML

#21501482
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18283) - you deserved it (1272)

On 12/08/2015 at 1:36pm - misc - by wtfiswronghere (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work, my vindictive, cheating ex made me clean and inspect her new wedding ring. FML

#21500653
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21650) - you deserved it (2078)

On 12/06/2015 at 4:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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