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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Nord-Pas-de-Calais

Today, I went to Ikea with my family. I was wearing a yellow polo that vaguely looked like the ones the Ikea employees were wearing. Two dozen people came up to me, complaining that I was staring at furniture instead of helping customers. FML

#13698709 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (16138) - you deserved it (8637)

On 11/03/2010 at 6:43am - misc - by MissIsabel - Sent from mobile version

Today, in art class, everybody was showing the paintings that we have been working on for weeks. Everyone was cheering and clapping. When mine came up, nobody clapped. FML

#13696419 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (18188) - you deserved it (3051)

On 11/03/2010 at 1:00am - misc - by 6boss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was cashier at work. The line came to a stop, but there was still people there. I kept saying next, but no one moved. I finally looked over the counter where there was a lady who had been standing there the whole time. She was a midget. FML

#13684047 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (25816) - you deserved it (8862)

On 11/02/2010 at 2:20am - work - by saraleerocha - Sent from mobile version

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

#13648057 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (20422) - you deserved it (5567)

On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained that I eat too quickly and don't thoroughly chew my food. My dad exclaimed, "That's because she swallows!" FML

#13640932 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (21562) - you deserved it (3841)

On 10/29/2010 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, it was my first day as a mailman. One of the houses got a bunch of cards, and the owner coincidentally opened the door as I arrived. So I said to the owner that someone in the house must really be popular. He replied, "She died this Tuesday." FML

#13587554 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (21634) - you deserved it (4283)

On 10/25/2010 at 7:03am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend came over to me, like she was going to kiss me, and instead rubbed her chin all over my face, exclaiming, "Can you feel my beard coming in?" Yes, yes I could. FML

#13570264 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (28419) - you deserved it (2664)

On 10/24/2010 at 12:11am - love - by altocrm - Sent from mobile version

Today, I teach English in Taiwan. I got two new students, brothers named Harry and Potter. People, they're children, not pets. FML

#13541967 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (19760) - you deserved it (3071)

On 10/21/2010 at 9:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that I have a gluten allergy. What this basically means is that I can't eat anything with wheat in it; bread, pasta, cake, you name it. I am Italian, this basically limits me from eating any of the awesome food my family makes almost every night. Here I come plain rice. FML

#13531568 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (25110) - you deserved it (1871)

On 10/20/2010 at 11:12pm - health - by allergic - Sent from mobile version

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

#13525218 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (18345) - you deserved it (2107)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:08pm - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss told me that I'd confessed my love to him last night when he'd held my hair back as I puked. FML

#13510751 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (7311) - you deserved it (20444)

On 10/19/2010 at 11:24am - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was woken by the news that my car had been found, but was completely destroyed due to a fire. I didn't even know my car was missing. FML

#13498140 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (19960) - you deserved it (1790)

On 10/18/2010 at 11:52am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend called and told me he had cheated on me with a minor. She is claiming rape and going to put him in jail. He asked me to help him pay for his attorney. FML

#13496641 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (29971) - you deserved it (2348)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:03am - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version