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FMLs submitted from Noord-Holland

Today, I dreamed a rat crawled up from the toilet and attacked me. Now I'm afraid to even enter the bathroom. FML

#21514609
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16881) - you deserved it (3536)

On 01/13/2016 at 2:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She said no because she doesn't want to be tied down for the rest of her life. We already have 3 children, a mortgage, and joint bank accounts. How much more tied down could we possibly get? FML

#21501461
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28705) - you deserved it (2626)

On 12/08/2015 at 12:21pm - love - by Nile (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, while my husband was at work, he missed our son saying his first word ("Dada"), taking his first steps and smashing the widescreen TV with a well-aimed teddy bear. Care to guess which of these three things made my husband cry. FML

#21492751
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21100) - you deserved it (2543)

On 11/15/2015 at 10:21am - kids - by michelle (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, an old lady in public transport yelled at me and my dog, called me a liar, and threw her grape soda over me because according to her my pet Shiba Inu was actually a fox, and keeping foxes as pets is illegal. FML

#21422437
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26944) - you deserved it (1671)

On 06/07/2015 at 5:48pm - animals - by foxownerapperantly - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my new boyfriend and I really wanted to have sex, but he went soft as soon as he entered me. This happens every time we try. I feel cursed by my year-long dry spell. FML

#21351173
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34842) - you deserved it (4339)

On 02/06/2015 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, since my finals are starting tomorrow, I made a joke about setting my math books on fire. I laughed. Friends laughed. Parents laughed. Guess what subject just managed to actually get in touch with my scented candles? FML

#21315641
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28249) - you deserved it (6098)

On 12/11/2014 at 2:55pm - misc - by not laughing anymore - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were roleplaying therapist and patient in bed. When I playfully asked him what bothered him, he told me his mother hates him and burst into tears. FML

#21269125
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45438) - you deserved it (6065)

On 10/01/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by notatherapist - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML

#21259449
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40225) - you deserved it (4995)

On 09/16/2014 at 1:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I realized I'm so scared of my manager that I don't even dare to quit my job. The same job I want to quit exactly because I'm so scared of her. FML

Today, I bought a cat. Somehow that cat is now stuck inside my antique piano. I have to break the piano to get her out. FML

Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML

#20683635
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37383) - you deserved it (12308)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:08pm - work - by anthony512 (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, after spending almost an hour in the dentist's waiting room, watching other people get called in for their appointments, I finally lost my patience and asked the receptionist what was taking so long. I'd forgotten to sign in. FML

#20528161
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10823) - you deserved it (46314)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by oops (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML

#20524519
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37251) - you deserved it (4254)

On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)



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