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FMLs submitted from Noord-Brabant

Today, after paying for my groceries, I noticed that a bread-roll hadn't been charged. I felt guilty and went back to the register to pay for it. The cashier burst into derisive laughter and mockingly asked me if I was "running for Pope or something". FML

Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML

#20479640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18656) - you deserved it (2060)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:18pm - animals - by peteswentzbass - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

#20178424
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23490) - you deserved it (2547)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said: "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML

#15662595
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25188) - you deserved it (3849)

On 04/06/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I had to sell my phone to pay for the phone bill. FML

#15087655
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15937) - you deserved it (17756)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:18am - money - by suzyyy (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I woke up really tired after a night of just two hours sleep. The reason? The mall across the street forgot to turn off their music. It played Christmas songs all night. Loud. FML

Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML

#12850855
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23040) - you deserved it (2237)

On 09/01/2010 at 4:27am - misc - by Michelle (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was walking with the dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling another friend came by, and we went talking for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone in the water instead of his stick. FML

#12753740
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10880) - you deserved it (26784)

On 08/26/2010 at 9:27am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was told that in order to be considered for more jobs, I should remove my college degree from my resume. FML

#12579737
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25649) - you deserved it (2611)

On 08/17/2010 at 7:43am - work - by JoannaG25 (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I came home to found all of my belongings out on the street. My roommate, who is also my brother, apparantly neglected to pay his part of the rent, and we got evicted. FML

#3553379
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38313) - you deserved it (2734)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:00pm - money - by BrianP (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I ran into my crush of three years ago. We used to always walk our dogs together. He still remembered my dog's name. He didn't remember mine. FML

#3168313
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42572) - you deserved it (2489)

On 06/24/2009 at 6:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17233) - you deserved it (39986)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)



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