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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

#20883979
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39317) - you deserved it (3059)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:03pm - misc - by zachadams - United States (New York)

Today, my son asked me if slavery was ever abolished. He's 19. FML

#20883742
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41676) - you deserved it (6703)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38826) - you deserved it (2581)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, my new creative writing teacher informed the class that we should consult him before writing anything "dark or disturbing." I only took the class because my therapist recommended that I join the class so I could freely express my darker thoughts without her help or a fear of being judged. FML

#20866346
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35120) - you deserved it (2616)

On 09/03/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by depressed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

#20860571
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36878) - you deserved it (3018)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

#20860109
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39722) - you deserved it (13968)

On 08/30/2013 at 8:33am - misc - by charlieg9 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized I love my boyfriend's cat more than my boyfriend. The only reason we're still together is I don't want to lose custody of the cat. FML

#20859438
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26107) - you deserved it (39370)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:16pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I actually had to explain to my husband why his habit of wiping his boogers off into our baby's hair has to stop. FML

#20859193
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42935) - you deserved it (3295)

On 08/29/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by grossedout (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was fired when a customer called corporate, saying I was unprofessional and rude. The "customer" in question was my little sister, who I would not let buy beer with a fake ID. FML

Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML

#20857413
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35085) - you deserved it (3101)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:48am - misc - by Grandmas lost it - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

#20857270
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53154) - you deserved it (6907)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm - work - by nowork - United States (New York)

Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML

#20856558
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52190) - you deserved it (4679)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML

#20854994
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51011) - you deserved it (13319)

On 08/26/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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