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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I got an Economics test back from my professor. I got a 17/20. I looked it over and noticed one of the questions was completely right. I checked the textbook he made and the answer was the same. I asked him why it was wrong, and he responded with, "I guess I changed my mind." FML

#21260926
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39819) - you deserved it (2585)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:44pm - misc - by badprofessor - United States (New York)

Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML

#21258936
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34898) - you deserved it (6805)

On 09/15/2014 at 6:19pm - misc - by lucas_urev - United States (New York)

Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML

#21257129
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39358) - you deserved it (9419)

On 09/12/2014 at 8:19pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my fiancée's been cheating on me. Her excuse? Her ADHD made her do it. FML

#21257049
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42925) - you deserved it (3390)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML

#21255855
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32039) - you deserved it (3477)

On 09/10/2014 at 6:40pm - health - by skinnyguy23 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my daughter out driving to practice for her road test. I told her to make a left into a parking lot. She missed the 30 foot wide entrance, but not the two foot wide tree. FML

#21255774
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39198) - you deserved it (3918)

On 09/10/2014 at 4:15pm - misc - by Crash (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

#21251173
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37152) - you deserved it (5108)

On 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML

#21251155
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39206) - you deserved it (3774)

On 09/03/2014 at 1:40pm - kids - by unlucky - United States (New York)

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

#21249322
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39270) - you deserved it (3131)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my 8 year old son asked me why he had to make his bed everyday if he would just use it again. I replied with, "You flush the toilet even though you're going to use it again, right?" He said, "Good point." Now he's not making his bed or flushing the toilet. FML

#21248169
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39337) - you deserved it (9930)

On 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm - kids - by sam_666777 - United States (New York)

Today, I was fixing the plumbing at my father-in-law's house. I told him to shut off the water and yell to me when he did. A few minutes later, I heard a yell and removed the pipe. I was met with a face full of water. Turns out he was just very excited when the Rangers beat the Mariners. FML

#21245661
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38294) - you deserved it (3701)

On 08/26/2014 at 7:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

#21245034
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29973) - you deserved it (16852)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

#21244207
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43230) - you deserved it (6805)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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