Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and go seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12327) - you deserved it (3638)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:16pm - kids - by jessye1182 - United States (New York)
Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13496) - you deserved it (6062)
On 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my dad found a couple of coins on the floor next to my desk, and gave me a lecture about how money doesn't grow on trees and how irresponsible I am when it comes to money. They were Chuck E. Cheese tokens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14473) - you deserved it (1492)
On 05/07/2012 at 12:12am - money - by rofindie (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12725) - you deserved it (2951)
On 05/05/2012 at 11:19pm - misc - by BTM13 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23587) - you deserved it (2352)
On 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by rolyat (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was sent to a customer's house to switch out a washing machine. My boss had assured me that everything I'd need was already in the truck. Halfway there, I ran out of gas and I realized I didn't have the gas card. My boss says it's my fault. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12678) - you deserved it (4859)
On 04/28/2012 at 5:21pm - work - by wowzers0889 - United States (New York)
Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not by any sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13971) - you deserved it (3269)
On 04/27/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Bullocks (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32808) - you deserved it (2284)
On 04/18/2012 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by caitlinz5 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, it's been exactly two years since I got my last raise. And the amount I got still allows me the luxury of being able to afford a Snickers bar every month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13384) - you deserved it (1332)
On 04/18/2012 at 3:49am - work - by Disgruntled (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24306) - you deserved it (4711)
On 04/08/2012 at 12:39pm - animals - by dcort - United States (New York)
Today, I got my license. Instead of congratulating me, my buddies created a betting pool for when I get into a serious accident. Thanks for the support. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14784) - you deserved it (2836)
On 04/05/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by anal4me (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18947) - you deserved it (1978)
On 04/01/2012 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was holding our weekly poker game with a few work buddies. My psychotic, live-in mother-in-law wasted no time jumping into the game, cheating me out of $150, my new wristwatch, and what little pride I had left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11265) - you deserved it (6770)
On 03/30/2012 at 7:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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