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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54747) - you deserved it (3067)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

#20979326
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43298) - you deserved it (8123)

On 12/03/2013 at 12:33pm - kids - by DocShadow (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML

#20977444
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39492) - you deserved it (4102)

On 12/01/2013 at 8:57pm - love - by bad poet (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML

#20974953
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25626) - you deserved it (38245)

On 11/29/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by holy sleet (man) - United States (New York)

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

#20973255
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36630) - you deserved it (3221)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by NotTellingYouMyName (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45902) - you deserved it (4834)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

#20970124
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48995) - you deserved it (17701)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by sister sister - United States (New York)

Today, I finally password-protected my phone, to protect it from my friends' favorite game: stealing it and sending stupid texts, and hijacking my Facebook. They quickly found a new game. My phone is now locked for 24 hours due to too many attempts to guess the password. FML

#20970108
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40477) - you deserved it (6723)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend announced to me he was sleeping with another girl via alphabet soup. FML

#20968871
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45103) - you deserved it (3510)

On 11/24/2013 at 11:01am - love - by fries - United States (New York)

Today, as a part of my autobiography project for school, I needed to have 2 friends and 2 family members each write me a letter. I ended up having to forge 3 letters. FML

#20964402
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40296) - you deserved it (3374)

On 11/20/2013 at 10:28am - misc - by me - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25855) - you deserved it (63872)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my roommate secretly edited a paper I wrote and recently turned in, so that it repeatedly refers to the famed author "Kneel Gayman." I'm positive that's not how it's spelled. FML

#20958782
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32811) - you deserved it (2909)

On 11/15/2013 at 3:30pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my relatives won't acknowledge my existence unless I'm posting a picture of my cat. They only talk about the cat. FML

#20946616
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33855) - you deserved it (3003)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Steiner (man) - United States (New York)



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Thursday 22 January 2015

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